Don’t get us wrong…we love Uber. In fact, we can attest firsthand that the driving app saved three lives alone over this past weekend after an all-nighter at Faena Hotel. #Blessed
But, we do have our grievances with the app — particularly with their questionable drivers. So here, loyal readers, are 5 things Miami Uber drivers do that royally annoy us:
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They Have No Clue Where They’re Going
Picture this: You say, “South Beach,” but the driver jumps onto I-95 toward Hialeah. Hello? And they’re asking YOU for directions like you’re the GPS. Use your phone, friend.
Lost in Translation
No speak-y English? No problem! From Spanish to Creole to French to Russian to Mandarin to Portuguese — your driver speaks every friggin’ language under the South Florida sun — but, ironically, not English. Here’s the problem with non-English speaking Uber drivers…it’s, like, IMPOSSIBLE to communicate with them. This is no bueno.
Those Price Surges Tho
Brace yourself for those take-no-prisoners price surges during Art Basel, Winter Music Conference, Swim Week and more. Yeah, that short trip over the MacArthur Causeway to Wynwood just cost your broke-ass a staggering $90. Welp.
They. Won’t. Stop. Talking.
**INSERT DRAMATIC EYEROLL HERE** Driving for hours upon end can be boring AF. We get it. Often times, Uber rides feel like therapy sessions and you’re on the receiving end of the dramz. From the political unrest in Venezuela to their crazy mother-in-law to their dying dog, you often feel like Dr. Phil when you should be straight chillin’ in the backseat.
Daddy Yankee on blast? Check. Hootie and the Blowfish? Check. WORST YET? Phish. You want a real American Horror Story? Sit in the back of a Miami Uber car and listen to your driver’s poor music choices. It’s downright crimimal and your cue to take over the music situation. Pronto.