Sure, in theory, owing a pool is great. During our hot summer season – which runs from April through December and often longer – that sparkling, clear blue water sends out a siren song to grab the noodles and jump in.
Or at least that’s how we like to imagine it.
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Real life is actually a lot less glamorous. It’s a ton of work. It’s expensive. Sure, it’s great for keeping your kids busy once they learn to swim. And it’s great if you’re about that condo life and someone else is taking care of it. But how many times have you wanted to sit in the backyard with a cold adult beverage and relax, but you can’t because the pool looks like a swamp, all because you wanted binge-watch Netflix instead of getting the chlorine levels right?
Here’s why you really don’t need a pool:
You are never going to swim laps
Stop acting like this will ever happen in your pool. You are not Michael Phelps. The most exercise you’re going to get is twisting off the cap of your beer.
A cold shower is more effective this time of year
Sure, it seems refreshing, but this time of year jumping in is more like getting into a hot bath.
It’s easier to buy a day pass to a hotel
This is the pool at the Confidante Miami Beach. Yours will never look this inviting. Here’s how to pool crash all summer long.
Two words: Venetian Pool
Even with everybody else’s screaming kids there, it’s still more relaxing than digging mangoes out of your own pool. Here are some other ways to cool off with the family this summer.
Because sometimes this happens
— 10News WTSP (@10NewsWTSP) July 3, 2018
Iguanas live to defecate in pools
It’s one big men’s room to them.