For those of us who rely on on the GPS app Waze to avoid Miami’s traffic disasters, the ride just got a lot smoother thanks to the vocal stylings of none other than Morgan Freeman, who, along with Colonel Sanders, is now one of the voice options (go into Sound and pick “Voice Language” to change it immediately).
But that got us thinking who we would really want to help us navigate the mean streets of Miami, and we decided we need some locals. Here are our favorites.
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Lucy Lopez with Pitbull at the ‘Men in Black 3’ premiere. PHOTO: Pedro Portal
1. Power 96’s Lucy Lopez
Probably just because we are so used to hearing her on the Morning Show while we are in the car anyway, but Lucy Lopez sounds like she would know exactly where to go at ALL times. “Are you crazy, do not go near the Palmetto at this hour!” The Hialeah native would be the perfect tour guide for the Magic City; she’s smart, sassy and she has the perfect Miami accent.
2. DJ Khaled
The mega producer and Snapchat master can use Waze to help us all remember the keys to success. “They don’t want you to make a right at the next light!!”
3. Deco Drive’s Shireen Sandoval and Lynn Martinez
Obviously they would have to take turns, but Shireen could program stops at a few of her favorite stores along the route (“This is one of my favorite things!”) and maybe we could convince Louis Aguirre to make a few cameos so that he and Lynn can give us some of their vintage snarky banter that we loved so much. (“Don’t listen to Lynn, make a left.” “Go back to Hollywood, Louis.”)
4. Luther Campbell
His narration has to be done hype man style with a Miami Bass beat underneath, so the app must immediately begin production of several bass-heavy background beats.
Obvio. Who else is going to get us around the 305 like Pit? This setting must be in perfect Spanglish. “Oye, mami. Right here, a la izquierda. Dale.”
6. Tomas Regalado
Yes, he is the mayor of Miami and all, but Tomasito used to be a broadcast journalist on Spanish Broadcasting System, so he has the announcer voice down to a science. He should also know where all the red light cameras are so you don’t get those tickets in the mail.
7. Dwyane Wade
He will begin every navigation with “Welcome to Wade county.” And you will feel proud.