Miami needs all these things, Santa. Here’s the Miami Christmas Wish List

There are so many things Miami wants for Christmas. Less traffic. Better neighbors. A Dolphins playoff victory. For Dwyane Wade to be 25 again. To never have made the mistake of listening to Pitbull’s version of “Africa.”

We understand that these gifts are unattainable. But we are sure there is something Santa can bring us that doesn’t involve magic or time travel.

So what does Miami want for Christmas? What can we find under the tree that will make us as happy as we are after that first cafecito of the day? So many things.

An item from that DJ Khaled furniture line


There are so many elegant items! We hope Santa brings us the gold couch.

A Miami Heat Sunset Vice jersey


You will not look as amazing as Justise Winslow does here in the smoking hot Sunset Vice jersey. But you will look good.

“Hamilton” tickets


The Broadway smash has finally arrived in South Florida, playing through Jan. 20 at Broward Center for the Performing Arts. We’re sure you can find tickets to the show affordably on StubHub. When you do, follow these rules at the theater.

Tickets to The NightGarden


OK, fine. “Hamilton” tickets are mostly sold out and cost a lot. What about tickets to The NightGarden at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden? Everyone who hasn’t been is suffering from FOMO in a big way. Also we want to beatbox with the tree like Kanye.

Tickets to Santa’s Enchanted Forest

Did you know it costs more for a night at Santa’s Enchanted Forest than it does for an evening in The NightGarden? That’s because Santa’s Enchanted Forest is truly magical. Please finance our visit.

All the coquito

Picasa 3.0

Better than eggnog any day. Give us enough to share with all our favorite people, and we will have a happy holiday.

All the croquetas

Bring us croquetas, too. We can’t get enough. We never order enough for parties, either.

A cafetera ring

Jose A. Iglesias

This ring is more beautiful than diamonds.

A Cuban stick mop


Because it’s simply the best.

For this chancleta-throwing bar to become a reality


We made it up, but wouldn’t it be amazing?