Wawa fanatics turn out to the new Miami store. What’s the big deal?
Hold on to your habaneros. Clutch your pearls and your croquetas. Sound the alarm and get ready to be outraged.
Wawa is here, and it’s totally exploiting Miami’s culture.
As you know by now, three Wawa locations are opening on May 9, bringing all the beloved items this franchise excels at to Miami. Cheap gas. Gooey macaroni and cheese that can cure a hangover in 10 seconds or less. A mysterious food substance called a “hoagie” which tastes pretty much exactly like a turkey sub.
And now, in Miami, pastelitos and empanadas. Cortaditos and coladas. There’s even a ventanita at the Wawa on Coral Way, just like the one Starbucks in Coral Gables that made your abuela cry.
Wawa has showed up in our town and is selling us cafecitos, Miami. Is nothing sacred?
At a VIP tasting on Wednesday — stop laughing right now — the brand proudly introduced its pastelitos and empanadas, the first ever served in a Wawa. This announcement was made directly across the street from El Palacio de los Jugos, one of the epicenters of Miami soul (also pork).
El Palacio was the place to go for guanabana shakes and vaca frita. Now, you can pump your cheap gas while gazing straight into the tearful eyes of the Palacio vendor who longs to sell you chicharrones. Too bad you are only thinking about the 12 Tastykakes you plan to eat on your way to work. Let the guilt wash over you.
So yes. We’re shook. We were completely offended and appalled by these developments as we inhaled that chicken empanada. We were furious when we slugged down the cortadito. And yeah, OK, both were pretty good. But this aggression will not stand.
It has been suggested that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and that Wawa is employing something called “knowing your market” and “good business sense.” Perhaps this is true. And the fine but fanatical people of Philly and New Jersey, deeply besotted with their gas station hoagies, keep urging us to be grateful that we can now join the cult of Wawa. Maybe we should be glad, since no other store or restaurant in the greater metro area sells subs or coffee or potato chips or sodas or smoothies or salads or pastelitos or gum.
Will we give in? Will we allow ourselves to be seduced by the siren song of cheap gas? Will we ever transcend that vague sense of embarrassment every time we say the name of this store?
Probably. And to tell you the truth? That empanada was the best thing we ate this morning. We legit liked it more than the hoagie. Do your worst, Wawa.
New Wawa locations in Miami
- 6971 SW 24th St.
- 11990 SW 137th Ave.
- 11101 SW 184th St.