‘Darkness clouded our family.’ It took years, but she healed after a series of losses

In her first 10 years, Tarina Cuffie lost three mother figures.

When she was six months old, her birth mother died of a heart attack. She was transferred to her grandmother in Baltimore, who died the same way when Tarina was about 6. Afterward, she moved in with her aunt in Orlando, who was taken by cancer four years later.

Struggle is not an obstacle for 23-year-old Tarina. It’s a test of her faith and strength. She ran away from home as a teen, suffered homelessness and struggled to learn in school. It took almost a decade to get over the deaths of the most important women in her young life.

“I was a little girl growing up without a mom, no support, no nurturing,” Cuffie says. “Darkness, I would say, clouded our family. It just led to destruction.”

This Christmas season, she is preparing to move out of Casa Valentina, a shelter where she has lived for the last year and is studying for a massage therapy license exam.

Ashley Allen is a Casa Valentina program coordinator who meets with Tarina weekly to discuss her goals, education, employment and even self-care. She nominated her for Wish Book because she feels the young woman can do a lot with just a little.

“Tarina has always been just really pleasant, really driven, really focused and positive,” said Allen. “I think she’s a great Wish Book candidate because she has a very kind heart, and really wants to make an impact.”

Born in Brooklyn with a twin sister named Tamera, Tarina doesn’t remember much before moving in with her Aunt Lanissa in Orlando, except attending her grandmother’s funeral.

Growing up, she recalls, she felt profoundly sad. She always wondered what her life would be like if her biological mom was still alive.

“My whole world was falling apart,” she said. “I felt discouraged, lost, hopeless, sad, suicidal.”

Her aunt’s husband, who she considers to be her father, remarried the same year Aunt Lanissa died. Tarina had difficulty accepting this change, but says her stepmother helped her and her sister become young ladies.

“She did fill in the gaps of what a mother would do for her child,” Tarina said, “just trying to steer us in a good direction even though we did not have that motherly bond.”

Tarina grew up moving around a lot, especially during high school. Her aunt’s death is the one she remembers most clearly.

“She was like my best friend and she died when I was in elementary school,” said Tarina. “That really affected my learning.”

During her teens in Orlando, Tarina says she followed the wrong crowd while trying to find herself. She sought attention and tried to find people to love while dealing with grief she couldn’t shake.

At 18, the young woman was homeless for a short period.

Tarina worked at Walmart and slept there for a night after distancing herself from her family. She jumped around a few friends’ homes, then ran away to Miami to stay at a cousin’s place. She finished twelfth grade at South Miami Senior High in 2018.

“I left because it wasn’t a place for me anymore, because I couldn’t heal in the place that broke me,” Tarina explained. “It was just weighing me down even more.”

Even though she felt sad leaving her twin sister behind, she had to leave.

“I had to get myself together and just wake up and experience life,” Tarina said. “I knew she was in good hands.”

Right after graduation, she enrolled in Miami Dade College, where she learned about Casa Valentina, but she didn’t give it much thought.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Tarina had to move back in with her family in Orlando.

Studying massage therapy

About three years ago, she started a spiritual journey that included attending church, quitting bad habits, distancing herself from the wrong crowd. She also began studying massage therapy.

“I didn’t heal until 2020,” Tarina said. “Wow, that’s when I finally got over her death.”

In 2022, Tarina returned to Miami, re-enrolled in Miami Dade College and started focusing on her career. Her goal is to open her own business on the side while she works at a massage therapy company.

“Massage is just beneficial to me,” she says. “People come to me for relaxation, for healing, loving and fixing,and it kind of resembles my upcoming story.”

She has been at Casa Valentina since last year but will have to leave soon and become independent since the program serves those 18 to 23. Allen says because of Tarina’s drive and desire to succeed, she believes she’ll be ready to live independently after one more year.

“If you ever have the opportunity to speak with her, you’ll really hear her heart,” Allen said. “She truly does have the desire to … make the world better.”

From Wish Book, Tarina would like help buying a massage table, cushions, a scrub uniform and other supplies. She also needs help with food and transportation.

“I’m not the person who came here with a sad story,” Tarina said. “I will be the person who comes here that will leave with a new mind, a new heart, a new soul, a new attitude towards life.”

How to help

To help this Wish Book nominee and the more than 100 other nominees who are in need this year:

▪ To donate, use the coupon found in the newspaper or pay securely online through www.MiamiHerald.com/wishbook

▪ For more information, call 305-376-2906 or email Wishbook@MiamiHerald.com

▪ The most requested items are often laptops and tablets for school, furniture, and accessible vans

▪ Read all Wish Book stories on www.MiamiHerald.com/wishbook

This story is the product of a partnership between the Miami Herald and the Lee Caplin School of Journalism & Media at Florida International University