What your favorite Girl Scout cookie says about you

When my girls were little and money was tight, I would take them to an all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant in South Miami-Dade that became immediately regrettable after every trip. This establishment is remembered fondly in our family as the “all-you-can-squirt Chinese restaurant.” It wasn’t the food that kept us coming back – it was the horoscopes and Chinese zodiac signs on the menus that were always such a hit.

No matter how many times we went, we never grew tired of wondering at the wisdom of those animal signs. How did they know that just because I was born in ’65 I posses such snake-like traits as cattiness and mystery (not to mention my ability to distinguish herbs)?

The point is we all love to read about ourselves. We like to imagine that something out there knows us even better than we do. 

After selling Girl Scout cookies in South Florida for the past two weeks (and more than five years), my daughters and I have become such people. We can predict a Thin Minter coming at us from a half-mile away. We can detect a Do-Si-Doer just by the way she sashays up to our Publix sales table. 

Bet you didn’t realize that the box of Tagalongs you bought yesterday was like a window into your soul, did you?

Based on our utterly subjective and unscientific observations, and in deference to this annual cookie-selling rite, we offer you this psychological breakdown on what your favorite Girl Scout cookie says about you. 

Trefoils

You’re a traditionalist with a conservative bent. You danced a mental jig when high-waisted pants came back in style. You’re an early riser who gets more done in the first hour after dawn than most can accomplish in an entire day (especially those lazy, spoiled Samoa types). You probably knit and make a mean scrapbook. 

Thin Mints 


Do-Si-Dos 


Tagalongs 


Samoas 


Savannah Smiles

You are a bit of a health nut and aim to please others with your efficiency and attention to detail. You tend to sugar-coat life to make it easier to swallow. You thrive on a tight deadline and are an excellent caregiver. 

Lemon Chalet Cremes 


Thank You Berry Munch 


If you believe any this, have I got a case of Girl Scout cookies to sell to you.

This story was originally published January 28, 2014 at 6:00 AM with the headline "What your favorite Girl Scout cookie says about you."