People

No, Kim Kardashian didn’t break the Internet

Paper magazine’s winter issue really takes the kake.

On the cover, as we are so sure you have seen unless you are a castmember of Breaking Amish, is Kim Kardashian, oiled up in her birthday suit — her main, um, asset on display. On the dual cover, there she is again popping a cork of bubbly, which splashes onto same body part — just clothed.

What in heaven’s name was the editors’ motivation? Of course, to get on eyes on their publication, but also to do something destructive: “break the Internet.” And the reality star — “a pop culture fascination able to generate headlines just by leaving her house,” was just the person for the job.

“Like it or not, Kardashian is a Hyper-Pop-Culture-Icon-Institution,” writes Paper of its enthusiastic model, who must have done a few thousand squats before the shoot. “She understands fame and popularity as if it were coded in her DNA.”

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the World Wide Web is in fine shape.

And as far as naked butts go, we’d rather drive by the old Coppertone ad featuring a little Jodie Foster on Biscayne Boulevard.

ACTOR HONORED

The City of London has given Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman the Freedom of the City award. The time-honored ceremony makes Freeman a freeman in the City of London. The award is believed to have originated in the 13th century and allows Freeman to carry out his trade. In days gone by, freemen were allowed to herd sheep over London Bridge but that privilege no longer applies.

JUST A RUMOR

Robert Plant says there is no truth to reports he turned down a lucrative offer from Virgin boss Richard Branson to play Led Zeppelin reunion shows. A statement says the singer “has not been in receipt of any offers in recent months” about Led Zeppelin gigs, and hasn’t met or communicated with Branson in 50 years.

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