Black woman confronts man sending racist text about her and shares ordeal on Tik Tok

It’s no secret that travel can be a taxing experience. By the time you’ve checked your bags, made it through TSA, hustled to your gate, and into your seat aboard the aircraft, rest and relaxation should be the only things on your mind en route to your destination. The last thing any traveler would want or expect is for another passenger to add stress to the day, let alone doing so by way of disrespect and bigotry. Unfortunately for travel influencer and digital nomad Talia Rouse, this is exactly what happened during a recent flight to Atlanta, GA from San Juan, PR.

Rouse shared her experience with Yahoo Life, where she said she was still feeling empowered after the amazing time she had at a conference targeted toward women who travel.

“I had the best time. I connected with so many women in the travel space, and just felt really, really inspired,” Rouse said.

Rouse’s excitement took a nosedive, however, after she saw that the man sitting next to her was sending and receiving racist texts. Although Rouse wasn’t trying to look at the man’s exchange, she noticed that some of the messages were in reference to her.

“I was not trying to look at his phone, it was just something that I happened to see,” Rouse said. “When I glanced down at his phone, the first thing that kind of caught my eye was him saying to someone else, ‘I’m willing to bet money that the big Black woman next to you is going to be scared and grabbing onto you the whole flight.” The man said that he “was sitting next to one too,” referencing, who Rouse assumed to be, her.

In a video posted to Rouse’s TikTok, the first initial messages she saw said, “Hopefully, the airlines will continue to raise prices and weed out these people” and “Ryan is also stuck sitting next to a big Black woman.” Rouse recalled to Yahoo Life that the initial two messages didn’t particularly offend her, but they did signal to her to keep reading. As she did, she saw that bigotry and prejudice was an ongoing theme in the conversation.

As described in another TikTok, Rouse was “fuming” at this point. In the video where she was visibly upset and conflicted, white text added to the video explained that she was “trying to decide if [she] was going to say something to the racist beside [her].”

Fed up, Rouse recorded the exchange with the man as she said, “I wasn’t gonna say anything. But I decided I want you to feel as uncomfortable as I do. And I want you to know that I saw your text messages and think you’re disgusting.”

The man, confused by Rouse’s comment, went on to ask about which messages she was referencing. “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Rouse said. “I’m not going to repeat it.”

She did go on to include general details of the messages she saw, including the comment made pertaining to increasing airfare prices so Black travelers would be weeded out. She ended the exchange by saying he was only sorry because she caught him. Rouse and the man sat next to each other for the duration of the four-hour flight.

Rouse recalled that she was nervous to call the man out, but felt safe doing so because of the location.

“I can’t say I would have made the same decision if we were sitting next to each other on the subway, or somewhere that I didn’t feel as protected. Him and I both have to get our bags and are going through two security checkpoints,” she said.

Rouse posted the videos to TikTok and Instagram in order to bring awareness to the pervasiveness of bigotry and racism.

“It was crazy to me that I was in a situation where I experienced or was even involved in a surrounding where there was racism,” she said.

While she knows that racism is still very present and that it is possible to experience while traveling, this didn’t lessen the blow of the interaction for Rouse.

“Travel [isn’t] created equal for everyone. And I think that the identities that we have influence the way the world sees us. So it was insane for me to already have that feeling. But to be in that situation with someone from my own home country. And in a day and time where people try to convince us that there isn’t any racism in 2023 — there could be someone that feels this way, literally sitting right next to you,” she said.

Rouse did receive pushback from posting the videos, with comments asking why she was reading his messages and why she felt the need to record and post. Rouse told Yahoo Life that if the passenger was worried about his privacy, then the texts shouldn’t have been so visible in a public space. She also said that she made sure not to include the man’s face or personal information in order to keep his identity anonymous.

“Just because I didn’t post his face on the internet doesn’t mean I don’t have it. If I was doing this for clout or attention in that manner, then I would have been one of those people that reveal his face and had the internet go wild, looking for his job and things like that,” she says.

Despite the negative comments, Rouse says that most of the feedback has been positive. Sharing her experience also encouraged others to share their experiences of racism. Rouse is grateful for the positive responses, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend her approach to others in different situations.

“I wouldn’t encourage people to necessarily make this decision in situations that would be unsafe for them,” she said.

Witnessing experiences like this could deter people from traveling for fear of a similar interaction, but Rouse still encourages people to travel, saying that “travel is the ultimate teacher, even when you aren’t prepared for the lesson.”

Roshae Hemmings is an arts and culture magazine journalist from St. Louis, MO. A graduate from the Missouri School of Journalism, Roshae has bylines in the Columbia Missourian, Vox Magazine and 5280 Magazine discussing topics ranging from pop culture, social justice and eat and drink. She is a foodie at heart and enjoys eating food as much as learning about the story behind it. You can reach Roshae via email at roshaehemmings@detourxp.com.