Greg Cote

Greg Cote’s Random Evidence: Time to start a ‘Keep Dwyane in Wade County’ fundraiser?

Miami Heat president Pat Riley Heat, left, talks with Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade during the team's practice at the AT&T Center in San Antonio on June 12, 2013.
Miami Heat president Pat Riley Heat, left, talks with Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade during the team's practice at the AT&T Center in San Antonio on June 12, 2013. El Nuevo Herald

This weekend is as crowded as a sports plate can be, with the NBA Finals, French Open tennis, Stanley Cup Finals, Women’s World Cup soccer and baseball, of course, including the NCAA postseason, all going on in a flurry. That’s not even mentioning Saturday’s 147th Belmont Stakes and Barcelona-Juventus in Europe’s Champions League final.

Miami is especially interested in hate-watching LeBron James and Cleveland against Golden State.

Heat fans are busy, though. They are multitasking. In addition to wishing LeBron ill, they are also emotionally occupied with whether the Heat will pay Dwyane Wade enough to keep him — or might actually let the franchise’s best and most popular player leave in free agency.

The decision is due in three weeks, when Wade must decide to opt in or choose to test the market.

Wade this week surprised a local Western High student who had started a Twitter campaign to have Wade attend her school’s graduation ceremony. He did. In turn, couldn’t the students at least have reciprocated by passing a hat and raising money toward a Keep Dwyane In Wade County Fund?

The heck of it is, I’m half serious.

If Micky Arison and Pat Riley won’t find a way to pay Wade, maybe the groundswell of a grass-roots Kickstarter or GoFundMe campaign could be the answer.

Granted, there may be more worthy charity causes than this. But still.

Wade will serve as an NBA Finals guest TV analyst for Game 2 on Sunday.

Maybe he should appear disheveled, wearing shockingly unfashionable, tattered clothes and discreetly holding up a hand-drawn cardboard sign reading, “Will Stay In Miami For Millions.”

▪ While Random Evidence took last week off, Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn Jenner and set a record for becoming the quickest ever to add 1 million Twitter followers. And me, still stuck at 18,000. Hmm. Something to think about.

▪ Dolphins kicker Caleb Sturgis injured his foot while playing kickball, which is a little like the fire chief burning himself on the stove. A day later, top draft pick DeVante Parker underwent foot surgery. Keep repeating it, Dolfans: “My team is not jinxed. My team is … .”

▪ Serena Williams was a big favorite to win Saturday’s French Open women’s final, just as Novak Djokovic seemed poised for the men’s title Sunday. I don’t wanna say tennis is predictable, but I think they saved time by engraving the trophies before the tournament even started.

▪ The Chicago Blackhawks and Tampa Bay Lighting continue in the NHL’s Stanley Cup Finals. Meanwhile, desperate Canada, which invented hockey but last celebrated a championship in 1993, has dispatched a covert team of special-ops Mounties to kidnap the Stanley Cup.

▪ Hard to believe, yet true: This is the first NBA Finals since in 1998 that does not include either Kobe Bryant, Wade or Tim Duncan.

▪ The Cavaliers lost Game 1 of the NBA Finals despite 44 points from LeBron and are now without Kyrie Irving in addition to Kevin Love because of injuries. . Clevelanders haven’t been this sad since somebody took their talents to South Beach.

▪ Cleveland might be getting desperate. The Cavs just traded a future first-round draft pick to Golden State for 2-year-old Riley Curry.

▪ The nerd-wonky website Five Thirty Eight ranked every NBA (and ABA) team ever. The 1995-96 Bulls are No. 1, the current Golden State team No. 4 and the 2011-12 Heat No. 11. Fans of the 1969-70 Miami Floridians have started a “We’re No. 1,452!” chant.

▪ A scandalized FIFA official, Jack Warner, cited a spoof article on the website theonion.com to defend himself. Which sounds exactly like something so ridiculous The Onion might write it.

▪ The first of five coach Al Golden’s football camps was held Saturday. Cannot confirm that several disgruntled Canes fans posed as 10-year-old campers in order to boo Golden.

▪ My wife just looked at me funny. I told her she was lovelier than a Lionel Messi goal.

▪ I heard that the Marlins’ former closer, Steve Cishek, used to be a lifeguard but got fired because he kept blowing the save.

▪ It was reported Marlins shortstop Adeiny Hechavarria owns more than 100 pair of shoes. Forgive Fish fans for only caring that one of them is a pair of baseball cleats.

▪ Answer: While Alex Rodriguez served only a baseball suspension, his cousin who was his steroids conduit received a seven-month jail sentence. Question: Who said life was fair?

▪ The shot clock in NCAA men’s basketball will go from 35 to 30 seconds to increase scoring. They rejected my idea to encourage quick passes and lots of shots: Randomly exploding basketballs.

▪ Answer: A new soccer team calling itself Miami Fusion and playing in Hialeah is one of 78 teams in a fourth-tier pro league. Question: Don’t you think maybe three tiers would be enough?

▪ Parting thought: Signs you might be old and too sports-obsessed: Your wife says she bought a new Coach purse and you wonder when it was Don Shula expanded his business empire.

Visit Greg’s Random Evidence blog daily at MiamiHerald.com and follow on Twitter @gregcote and also on Facebook, Instagram and Vine.

Hot list

Today: FIFA Women’s World Cup. The seventh WWC is now under way. The championship games of the first six:

Year

Championship game

Host

2015

Tournament under way

Canada

2011

Japan def. U.S. 3-1 (penalty shootout)

Germany

2007

Germany def. Brazil 2-0

China

2003

Germany def. Sweden 2-1

United States

1999

U.S. def. China 5-4 (penalty shootout)

United States

1995

Norway def. Germany 2-0

Sweden

1991

U.S. def. Norway 2-1

China

Note: The three times it was not in the finals, in 1995, 2003 and 2007, the United States finished in third place each time.

What South Florida sports fans are talking about

1. NBA

Golden State up in Finals despite LeBron’s 44: The Warriors beat the Cavs in overtime in Game 1 to make moot 44 points by Cleveland’s LeBron James, much to the delight of most Heat fans, with Game 2 also out west Sunday. The opener verified what we thought going in: “You can have the best player in this series,” say the Warriors. “But we’ll go ahead and have the best team, thanks.”

2. HORSE RACING

American Pharoah makes his run at history: Since Affirmed in 1978, 13 horses had won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness then failed to win the Belmont and finish the Triple Crown before American Pharoah tried to end that drought Saturday. (Quick aside: The word is actually spelled “pharaoh,” of course. Somebody buy that horse’s parents a dictionary!)

3. HURRICANES

Omaha or bust for Miami in NCAA Super Regional: UM beat Virginia Commonwealth 3-2 in the opener of their best-of-3 NCAA Super Regional weekend series here as both teams sought to reach the College World Series — UM for the first time since 2008. Only in college baseball do you hear anyone talk about going to Omaha as a life’s highlight.

4. MARLINS

Are downtrodden Fish beginning to show signs of life? Miami had won two series in a row and three of the past four entering the weekend start of a six-game road trip to take some heat off replacement-manager Dan Jennings as the return of Jose Fernandez draws ever closer. I’d say things are looking up, but, with the Marlins, that’s usually a precursor to something exploding.

5. SOCCER

Europe final, Women’s World Cup come at right time: Barcelona faced underdog Juventus on Saturday in Europe’s Champions League final. The Women’s World Cup began the same day in Canada, with the United States set to debut Monday. Thank you, Europe and women, for helping the beautiful game get past the stink of corrupted FIFA and resigning-in-shame Sepp Blatter.

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