These days, hard to find Fins fans to appreciate

Years Seasons Primary QB
6 2002-07 Jay Fiedler (28)
4 1966-69 Bob Griese (32)
4 1986-89 Dan Marino (60)
4 2009-12 *Chad Henne (31)

* — Miami still has an infinitesimal chance to make this season’s playoffs, but the very strong likelihood is a fourth consecutive year left home. Note: Primary QB refers to most regular-season starts during that span.

Sunday marks the Dolphins’ final home game of this NFL season, and the club is calling it Fan Appreciation Day. Anybody else but me see a shade of irony in that?

The Dolphins appreciating their fans is something like me thanking the Pulitzer Prize selection committee for all of their unending support.

Bulletin: The Dolphins have lousy fan support, the residue and result of last winning a playoff game on Dec. 30, 2000. It seems even longer ago. The Miami Herald recently ran a feature story on a 101-year-old Dolphins fan, Willie Pearl Porter, and I swear I expected to a read a quote with her lamenting how she wasn’t quite old enough to recall the team’s most recent playoff win.

I’m not knocking the fans who show up. They deserve medals. I mean fan support in general. Miami this season has the league’s lowest percentage of available tickets sold. The average paid attendance of 58,094 is the worst since the club began keeping track in 1997 — with no-shows whittling the actual attendance to notably lower than that.

Again Sunday vs. Buffalo a one-third-empty stadium might be expected as the moribund Bills mark a 12th consecutive year out of the postseason and Miami a 10th playoff-less year in the past 11.

Wait. In fairness I should say Miami is not 100 percent eliminated from playoffs. You know how there was a possibility the world actually would end Friday just as the Mayan calendar predicted?

Those are the Dolphins’ playoffs odds.

• Merry Christmas, celebrants! You know how this time of year is known for Nativity scenes? Dolfans facing another year out of the playoffs will be joining angry Marlins fans and hockey-less Panthers fans to create a Negativity scene.

• Ex-Dolphin great

Manny Fernandez

took a shot at general manager

Jeff Ireland’s

drafting, saying, “Even a blind hawk finds an acorn once in a while.” Yes, the bromide usually mentions a blind squirrel. What happened was, a hawk swooped into Manny’s metaphor and ate the squirrel.

• The Jets benched

Mark Sanchez

, the

Tim Tebow

experiment is unraveling and

Rex Ryan

seems at wit’s end. Admit it, Dolfans. The next best thing to Miami making the playoffs is the Jets imploding.

• Dislikable Marlins president

David Samson’s

weekly spot on 790 The Ticket with

Dan Le Batard

dodging questions and discussing movies has been ordered stopped by owner

Jeffrey Loria

. I don’t say this often, Jeffrey, so don’t get used to it: Thank you!

• ESPN ranked MLB teams’ offseasons and had Toronto No. 1 with an estimated improvement of plus-15 wins. Marlins at minus-10 ranked No. 30, but only because the numbers didn’t go any higher.


Mike James

was named the Hurricanes’ 2012 season MVP in football. If you pretend real hard and convince yourself that neither

Stephen Morris


Duke Johnson

were on the team, it was a good choice.

• A Sports Illustrated writer said on Twitter that UM football coach

Al Golden

might imminently be leaving for Wisconsin. Soon after, the same writer Tweeted an update that amounted to, “Oops. My bad.”

• Louisville’s

Rick Pitino

schooled son


of FIU in a basketball game this week. I count it a holiday miracle that the rookie coach was not immediately fired by overreacting AD

Pete Garcia


• The NHL canceled games through mid-January as lockout reaches Day 100 Monday, with both sides apparently prepared to drive over the cliff together. They’ll all be driving those little clown cars like the Shriners ride in circles in parades.

• I Googled the phrase “you’re about six years late” and saw how

Nick Saban

went on local radio to express regrets over the way he left the Dolphins.

• The Toronto Blue Jays are now the betting favorite after signing Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey. (Canadian teams never win the Stanley Cup, so we let them win a World Series once ever few decades).

• Answer: Never say, “Now I’ve heard it all,” because you haven’t. Question: Did you hear that three-time Olympian

Suzy Favor Hamilton

, 44, admitted she was a prostitute for a Vegas escort service?

• Olympic swim champ

Michael Phelps

edged Heat’s

LeBron James

for Associated Press Male Athlete of the Year. Bad choice. LeBron had best year. Phelps was the Athlete of Those Two Summer Weeks.


Udonis Haslem

said the Heat play better as villains, adding, “Maybe we can get back to being the most hated team in the world.” Wonder if Miami will be the first home arena to pipe in taped booing?

• U.S. women’s soccer attracted 10,493 for a 4-1 exhibition win over China at FAU’s stadium. If only Owls football drew like that.

• ESPN suspended analyst

Rob Parker

for questioning

Robert Griffin III’s

blackness and saying RG3 was “not down with the cause.” Hmm. Isn’t the cause playing great and making the Redskins a lot better?

• Congrats to the four area teams — Aquinas, Central, Booker T. and University — that brought home state high school football titles. That’s the way to remind the Dolphins and Canes how it’s done.


Parting thought:

True story. Tennis star

Novak Djokovic

plans to open a restaurant whose specialty will be cheese made from donkey milk. The only thing I’d like less than to try that cheese is to milk that donkey.

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