The Florida Renaissance Festival is back at Deerfield Beach. The event, which runs every weekend through March 24 at Quiet Waters Park, features entertainment, rides, shows, vendors and even food inspired by the old timey times when Europe was just starting to figure out that the world was round and gold was great.
And while some people don’t understand why we celebrate this era of poor hygiene and colonial conquest, we’re kind of into it.
But the truth is, if you are going to pay tribute to a socially and medically backward time, you don’t want to be at the bottom of the feudal system. You want to be a lord, not a serf. You want to be the landed gentry or a titled nobleman, anything that would keep you from eating gruel in some plague-infested inn and wearing a burlap sack for a shirt.
So when you hang out at the Florida Renaissance Festival, you don’t want anyone the confuse you with a plebe. Here’s how to do the Ren Fest like royalty.
Sign Up and Save
Get six months of free digital access to the Miami Herald
Dress the part
You are definitely going to have sweat stains thanks to all this fabric, but at least you aren’t wearing a suit of armor in the hot Florida sun.
Hang out with the royals
Meet King Charles the Fifth, Holy Roman Emperor, King of Spain, King of Italy, Archduke of Austria, Duke of Burgundy, Lord of the Netherlands and his wife Queen Isabel, Princess of Portugal, Holy Roman Empress and Queen Regent of Spain. They are way more important than you.
Eat all the turkey legs
Nothing says ‘I live in a castle and I’m not dying of starvation’ like giant turkey legs.
Drink the good mead
Roaming your fiefdom is thirsty work. Head over to an inn and fill up a mug with brews from Barrel of Monks Brewery, Sapporo, Unibroue and Funky Buddha Brewery. Water was basically poison back then anyway.
No one works harder than a medieval minstrel. So put some gold coins in their hands, and they will scream, “Huzzah!”
Watch out for pirates
Swashbucklers and Sirens weekend is March 9-10 so keep your hand on your purse because the pirates will be looking to plunder.
Enjoy the jesters
The Mis-Adventurers, a dynamic swordfighting duo, are as goofy as they are thrilling. The Kamikaze Fireflies perform a show that is a combination of strength, agility and audience engagement. The Renaissance Festival has dozens of acts that are going to perform just for your entertainment, my liege.
Head to the tournament
A squad of knights-errant will perform incredible tricks from horseback. Sip your mead and throw them some roses.
If you go:
What: Florida Renaissance Festival
When: 10 a.m.-sunset Saturdays-Sundays, through March 24. Open Presidents’ Day (Feb. 18)
Where: Quiet Waters Park, 401 S Powerline Rd., Deerfield Beach
Cost: $25 for adults and $12 for children ages 6 to 11 years of age. Children 5 and younger are free.
Info at http://www.ren-fest.com