Club + Bars

Party like a protagonista

Set: The perfect place to make Fernando insanely jealous. Photo: Alex de Mateo/for
Set: The perfect place to make Fernando insanely jealous. Photo: Alex de Mateo/for

As the burgeoning hub of telenovela production, Miami offers the perfect settings for protagonistas to live out their own melodrama. If you are a true drama queen (or king) take the joy and the pain of being you to the streets of Miami.

Plot out how to get Fernando to believe it’s his baby while sipping on the fine Italian wine selection at Lincoln Road’s Quattro Gastronomia Italiana (1014 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach; 305-531-4833). You must dress Sobe chic to match the elegant décor at this hot spot, where Miami’s beautiful people go to enjoy a fine Italian meal and peruse the Bible-size wine menu featuring a region by region tour of Italian viticulture. And with its glass chandeliers and white linens, Quattro provides a glam scene for some malicious masterminding.

That’s right, ignore him as you lounge in what is Miami Beach’s hottest VIP ticket, Set (320 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach; 305-581-2800). Get comfy on velvety red couches as you chat up Fernando’s enemy, the hated Julio, lazily dropping your hand on his right knee. A jealous Fernando slams his vodka tonic down and storms out onto Lincoln Road, losing himself amongst the revelers.

You can follow him to Macarena (1334 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-3440), a South Beach institution high on the list of all protagonistas looking to hear some live Latino rock. Hopefully you won’t run into Yolanda in the white-curtained VIP section, where you and your accomplice, Osvaldo, plot how to swindle Fernando out of his shares of the family business.

If you’re feeling the need to have all eyes on you because your galan has found another mujercita, head over to Taverna Opa II (36-40 Ocean Drive, 305-673-6730), a fun Greek restaurant/party spot where you can boogie on tabletops. The handsome wait staff, all capable of getting Fernando off your mind, wipe your table clean and help you get up top to shake it Shakira-style as bashful diners gape at you in awe. Ay dios mio! Is that Fernando you see in the corner? Put down that Appletini. Remember, he thinks your pregnant!

For a reconciliation with your once-enemy, there’s no better place than Mariposa Restaurant (390 San Lorenzo Ave., Coral Gables; 786-999-1018) inside the Village of Merrick Park. The ladies who lunch love to rest their wrists from the weight of their shopping bags inside Neiman Marcus’s chic bistro, making it a great place for a tete a tete with Yolanda, Fernando’s true love, and the real mother of his child. Tell her you will live and let live while licking up the edible gold dust that adorns the scrumptious desert tart.

Console yourself on the loss of Fernando with a visit to Merrick Park‘s (390 San Lorenzo Ave., Coral Gables; 305-529-0200) high-end Latin American designer boutiques such as Silvia Tcherassi, Carolina Herrera and Adolfo Dominguez. But if you can’t afford such luxurious relief, you’ll find a Bebe and a Benneton with decent sale racks in the back so you can shop your blues away.

Now that you’ve turned over a new leaf and left your mala ways behind, head over to happy hour at Novecento (1414 Brickell Ave., Brickell; 305-403-0900) in Brickell. This Argentine steakhouse is a raging fiesta after office hours. After a few cocktails, the neckties come undone and you’re sure to find plenty of prospective galanes amongst the downtown office crowd. Drown the pain you are feeling over the loss of Fernando with the Happy Hour specials.

But look! At the end of the bar is Jose, your first love, recently separated from his evil wife Bianca. Things are looking up in your novela. A place like Miami will never let you down. The protagonista always triumphs in the end.