Club + Bars

Velvet underground: March 13-19

Menduo: we keep getting older, they stay the same age.
Menduo: we keep getting older, they stay the same age.

With just a little more than a week until Winter Music Conference besieges us with its aural assault, there’s no rest for the party weary.

And how convenient that Monday happens to be St. Patrick’s Day. While Miami is hardly a hotbed of Celtic activity, there are enough Irish pubs in town to justify a party or 10. Even the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts is getting in on the green, inviting everyone to Get Your Sham Rock on at the Green Room Society’s St. Patty’s Day Celebration, beginning at 5:30 p.m. Expect green beer, gourmet Irish grub, toasts and live music from local artist Jesse Jackson. The party takes place in the Parker and Vann Thomson Plaza for the Arts so you can go green right in front of rush hour Biscayne Boulevard traffic. Cost: $20 in advance; $25 at the door. Call 305-949-6722 for tickets and information.

The swank area South of Fifth is also going green at Clarke’s, where, from 9-11 a.m. (!) you can enjoy a traditional Irish breakfast along with $2 Bushmill’s shots and $3 pints of Guinness. You can enjoy the drink specials, giveaways and raffles all day long and a special St. Patty’s Day menu until midnight, but according to owner Laura Cullen, “The bar is open until the last customer falls down.”

You might also consider the Equality Florida Bar Crawl on Saturday, when, for $25 in advance and $30 at the door, you can hop from gay bar to gay bar for seven straight — er, gay — hours. The crawl begins at 8 p.m. at the Palace on Ocean Drive, continues to Halo off Lincoln Road at 10 p.m., moves on to Score and then Twist. Each bar will offer free Absolut cocktails for the first hour and a half. The crawl will include drag performances and an assortment of antics, but most importantly, all proceeds benefit Equality Florida, the only statewide LGBT rights organization working to change state law regarding marriage. For tickets go to

Keeping with the shaken and stirred theme is Morton’s The Steakhouse in North Miami Beach, which is hosting a theme night Friday to the tune of the Bond classic From Russia With Love, featuring Imperia vodka martinis or — as they’re calling them, Mortinis — paired with Petrossian caviar and Morton’s signature hors d’oeuvres including sliced smoked salmon, tuna tartare and sliced tenderloin. It all begins at 6 p.m., ends curiously early at 7:30 p.m. and costs $45 per person. Call 305-945-3131 for reservations.

Meanwhile, no reservations necessary to catch the newly reformed Menudo live in concert this weekend at the Calle Ocho Festival. The band, which is joining The Jonas Brothers on tour, will play the massive street festival at 1 p.m. Sunday on the Univision stage, for free.

Speaking of massive, we were lucky enough to do our own tour of the yet-to-open Gansevoort South, which insists on opening at least part of its mammoth self in time for the WMC, which will host some VIP DJ events on the hotel’s spectacular, massive rooftop pool area. Despite the hotel’s size, however, it doesn’t feel unmanageable thanks to various different lobbies (with color!), entries and elevators that separate the hotel part from the condo from the zillion square foot David Barton gym from the rooftop pool from the tee-pee studded beach club from the oceanfront pool and STK restaurant from the stores, the hair salon, the Opium Group lounge, the Phillipe restaurant and, well, you get the picture. Phillipe is opening in a few months, but STK won’t be open for at least several more; the hotel will be open for WMC and is already sold out in the coming months. We saw the fish tank sans sharks and think it’s a most appropriate greeting for the scene sharks who are sure to take this place and try to adopt it as their own. It’s that cool. And so is the neighborhood in which it resides, a place where the W Cipriani South Beach and SoHo Beach House will eventually open. This neighborhood sorely needs a terminally trendy destination name to reflect the fact that it’s not necessarily South Beach but — dare we say it? — maybe cooler. We suggest some nicknames for the area of 23rd Street and Collins and thereabouts: SNoCo, as in slightly north of Collins Avenue or the snow bird corridor; MiCo for mid-Collins Avenue; SoGo for South of Gotham or, better yet, how about just plain ol’ Miami Beach, MiBe?