Getting red carpet ready

A. Gilbert / PR Photos

He’s been called the male Joan Rivers, sans all the plastic surgery and jewelry. Red carpet analyst/lifestyle guru/event planner Steve Kemble loves to dish. The “Dose of Sass’’ blogger also specializes in critiquing sartorial do’s and don’ts as a Top Cop in Us Weekly’s Fashion Police. Listen to him harp on about his various encounters with stars and give secrets on getting red-carpet ready when he appears at Biz Bash Florida Expo Tuesday. Steve gave us a quick taste, telling us his opinion on, ahem, current events.

Charlie Sheen: I just got seats for his show in Dallas, where I’m based. I’m just wildly entertained by watching his public flameout. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has another sitcom in a few years. Americans love nothing more than to build up, tear down and build up again. I just hope he lives to see it.

Lindsay Lohan possibly playing Sharon Tate in a new Charles Manson movie: The only good move that Lindsay can make now is to stay out of trouble and grow up. This is a girl that grew up in the spotlight. She’s not comparable to a kid that went to junior high and the prom and all that. Her prom was in the Mean Girls movie, so I feel for her. At the same time, she really needs to buckle down and focus. I don’t know if I think Charles Manson is where I would want to draw parallels with myself, but, then again, she’s got to pay those legal fees.

The Kardashians: The biggest thing that these girls have going is that they are living the American dream for young women. I’m not going to say that they don’t work hard, but it’s not like any of these girls ever had to clean a toilet, ya know? They are doing what modern girls want to do — shop, look great, marry atheletes, create clothes, open stores, have their pictures taken, party at exclusive spots, travel the world… phew!