The long and Short of it

Two comedic talents are headed to entertain South Floridians Monday night: At the Hard Rock Live, Martin Short, and at the Arsht, Kathy Griffin. We caught up with both performers, who will definitely be incorporating certain Hollywood scandals into their act. When we caught up with Short, he was taking full advantage of his South Florida date, mixing it up on the beach with his Canadian buddies Eugene Levy and Paul Shaffer. Why? It was his 61st birthday Saturday. “We’re on a boys’ trip,’’ says Short from the Fontainebleau Hotel. The actor-comedian will surely be nice and relaxed for his show in Hollywood, which he calls a “Party with Marty.’’

“It’ll be as if I were hosting Saturday Night Live and being all the cast members,’’ he explains. “All my characters show up; I sing and dance and jump around and take everyone on a fake journey of my career.’’ Any new material? “It’s a constant work in progress,’’ he says, “kind of like Joan Rivers’ neck.’’

Griffin, who is fresh off a one-week stint on Broadway (Kathy Griffin Wants a Tony), also promises a mostly new show in Miami. “I’ll take some of the stuff from Broadway because, let’s face it, it was a freakin’ week ago. But on the other hand who knows what Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen or Sarah Palin will have done even between this phone call and then?’’ Sheen material will show up at the Hard Rock as well. “Franck [Short’s over-the-top wedding planner character in Father of the Bride] will discuss his style, for sure,’’ Short says.

Beyond that, Short can’t say – he’s a tad befuddled by the whole Sheen debacle. “For all I know, we’ll find out this has been a long process worked out with Chuck Lorre and Charlie. The bottom line is ratings and Two and a Half Men has never been more popular,’’ he says.

“You cannot underestimate the level of what is called entertainment now.’’

Griffin, 50, is certain this interview will win a Pulitzer Prize. “You can have your Pulitzer first, but I’m going to get it soon afterwards,’’ Griffin says. “For my investigative journalism and in-depth reporting of the Lohan family, or whatever congressman has taken a picture of himself with his shirt off.’’ Griffin says she can’t figure out why U.S. Rep. Christopher Lee, R-N.Y., quit the same day shirtless pictures of himself surfaced on Craigslist. “I don’t see the problem,’’ she says.

“I think that when you’re married — and a Congressman — you should feel free to go on Craigslist with a picture of your awesome biceps and your cellphone and have a nice afternoon, without everyone coming down on you so hard.’’