You’re the worst, Hialeah. At least for singles.
According to a new WalletHub survey, which measures how fabulous 182 American cities are for living that single life, it’s way down there at the bottom.
The only places worse? That hot bed of strip malls Pembroke Pines and Brownsville, Texas.
We cannot figure out how this is possible. We kind of love Hialeah. Have these WalletHub never been to the Hialeah Flanigan’s?
Miami itself doesn’t fare so well in this study, clocking in at no. 43. Even Fort Lauderdale was 61. Apparently, if you are looking for love anywhere in South Florida, you are wasting your time. May as well throw on a bata and look for something good on Netflix.
The study examined data on what it calls “dating friendliness,” including online dating opportunities. People of South Florida, trust me on this: Look into Internet service. Other factors considered were the price of restaurants and drinks. To this we would again like to remind WalletHub that Flanigan’s is quite affordable, as is the Opa-locka-Hialeah Flea Market.
And what about Los Ranchos in the Westland Mall? We know you only take your abuela there on her birthday, but you could probably take a date. Just don’t let Abuela know he/she is on probation.
The study also considered each city’s number of nightlife options. We do not understand how the City of Progress – or as we like to call it, “the City of Progess on Building That Efficiency Without a Permit” – failed this part. There are SO MANY nightlife options in Hialeah, like the aforementioned Flanigan’s and the Taco Bell drive-thru window.
We’re starting to think WalletHub has it in for Hialeah. Earlier this year it named this fair city one of the worst places to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
To that we say: Well. Maybe. But we’re still not as snobby as Miami Lakes.