Dave Barry Gift Guide

Wine Rack

$ 29.99 plus shipping and handling from Kotula’s, 2800 Southcross Dr. West, Burnsville, Minn. 55306, 800-685-4845; www.kotulas.com

Suggested by Jeff Berkowitz of Coral Gables and Maine

For the true wine connoisseur, there is nothing more enjoyable than sucking body-temperature wine from a tube connected to a polyurethane bladder concealed in a woman’s undergarment.

That, in a nutshell, is the appeal of the Wine Rack, a sports brassiere equipped with a bladder that holds 25 ounces of wine or other beverages. According to the manufacturer, you can wear the Wine Rack to “movies, concerts, ball games – anywhere you can imagine” and drink through “a drinking tube long enough to route as you wish.” And here’s a bonus: As your wine rack empties, your bosoms appear to shrink dramatically.

You will definitely want to give this product to all the classy women on your holiday list, as well as any men who for whatever reason — and far be it from the Gift Guide to judge — wear sports brassieres. Remember: This is the only wine-concealment device personally endorsed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, who never goes anywhere without it.

Next gift: Candwich — Sandwich in a Can

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