Dave Barry Gift Guide

"Rear Gear" Pet Coverup


$6 from Rear Gear; www.reargearstore.com

Suggested by Shannon Walker of Redwood City, Calif., and Steve Richardson of Midlothian, Va.

We can all agree that dogs and cats make wonderful companions who bring great joy into our lives when they are not throwing up in our underwear drawers. However, we also can all agree that household pets tend to be immodest: They walk around pretty much stark naked, which means that we are constantly experiencing direct visual exposure to their personal regions, which are not their most attractive feature, except in the case of those little yappy dogs people carry around in containers.

Well, finally somebody has done something, and that something is the "Rear Gear" butt coverup, which is a little flat thing that loops over the tail and covers your dog’s or cat’s butt. The Rear Gear comes in a variety of shapes and images, including a sheriff’s badge, a heart, a pine tree and of course a smiley face. You can even send in your own design or photograph, and the Rear Gear people will use it to create a custom butt cover, which means your pet could be walking around with a rear end sporting, as a tribute, the image of, for example, Kim Kardashian.

We cannot think of a more thoughtful gift for anyone on your list who has either a pet or some kind of psychological problem. Truly, this product sends the traditional holiday message — and here we quote from the Rear Gear website — "No More Mr. Brown Eye."

Next gift: BARK4BEER Dog-Collar Bottle Opener