Dear Abby: I am recently divorced and now seeing a wonderful woman who is pretty much everything I was looking for except for a couple of issues, which concern going out to eat — which we do often. Not once has she offered to pay for a meal. I make good money, but she is not financially strapped by any means. While I can live with her not paying, what annoys me is she rarely says thank you after a dinner date. Once, she ordered a to-go selection to take home to her daughter. I paid for it, but again got no thanks. When we arrived at her house, she gave the food to her daughter without mentioning that I had bought it for her.
Other than her manners, she’s a great gal and I’m happy we're together. Am I being petty and overly sensitive? My ex-wife never appreciated me, so I guess it’s a sore spot. How should I approach this without jeopardizing everything else?
Hesitant to Speak Up
Your great gal has poor manners. Approach it by telling her exactly what you have written to me. Then ask her why she never says thank you and didn’t bother to give you credit when you did something nice for her daughter.
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Either this woman never learned basic manners, or she takes you for granted. And if this is a pattern with all the women in your life, it’s important you understand why and do something about it before you marry again or you will never be happy.
Dear Abby: I stepped into a public restroom with three regular stalls and a handicap/wheelchair-accessible stall. All the stalls were occupied, so I got in line. By the time it was my turn, the handicapped stall was available. Behind me was a mother with a fussy baby and a toddler, and she needed to use the baby changing station, which happened to be inside the handicapped stall. I let her go first.
What I didn't realize was a woman in a wheelchair was also in line behind me. She got upset when I let someone else use the stall instead of allowing her. Someone else in line piped up and told her she had to wait in line like everyone else.
When situations like this arise, should disabled people be allowed to skip the line and go straight to the big stall? Even if the mother with the baby and the location of a diaper changing station were not a factor, is the right thing to do to let a wheelchair-bound person use the restroom first, even if he/she is at the end of the line?
Trying to be Polite
Yes, it is. It’s called a “handicapped stall” for a reason. The person with the disability should have been allowed to use it first — even if he/she was at the end of the line.
Dear Abby: I have two children from a previous marriage. We have a distant relationship. For valid reasons, they have been written out of my will. Should I tell them now, or let them find out after my death?
Wondering What to Do
I see no reason to announce it now, because before you die you might change your mind.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.