Dear Abby: My husband and I are pregnant with our first child. We are beyond excited and can’t wait for our little one to get here. Our problem: My mother-in-law is getting married two weeks after our baby is supposed to arrive, and she’s expecting all of us to go.
While I’m happy she has found someone she wants to spend her life with, I will not be there and neither will our child. I have told my husband this and explained my concerns, but I will support him if he decides to go since it’s his mother.
How can I turn her down in a polite way so it doesn’t sound like I’m a horrible daughter-in-law?
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Unless a woman is having a C-section, babies don’t always arrive on the expected due date. Sometimes they can be a week late — or more. If you feel you need time to rest, recuperate and get your child on a regular nursing schedule, tell that to your mother-in-law.
As a new mother, you are going to have to quickly learn to prioritize, and your child’s well-being and your health must come first. Expect her to be disappointed, but make clear that you love her and wish her a lifetime of happiness, but you will be unable to attend.
Dear Abby: Is it OK for an older woman to wear fancy, colorful tights? My wife is 5 feet tall and weighs 110. She’s in good health and works out at the gym regularly. She wears her tights there, or when she’s working in the garden or at the market. She dresses conservatively for work and church.
I overheard some of the local ladies say she shouldn’t be wearing leopard tights “at her age.” I’m afraid my wife will overhear it one of these days and be hurt. What is your opinion? She still looks wonderful to me.
Married to a Hottie
As an adult — and in good shape — your wife should wear anything that pleases her, including leopard tights if she wishes. It appears the local women are more jealous kitties than ladies. “Nice” ladies don’t make catty comments behind someone's back.
Dear Abby: On Oct. 11, you printed my letter about feeling like an overlooked middle child. In the comments on your website was an outpouring of support and friendly tips. I am happy to say I am now involved in extracurricular activities. I’m much happier, and would like to thank all your readers who took the time to give me so much support.
Thank you for letting us know that you’re happier and doing better. Dear Abby readers are the most caring and generous people in the world. I’m glad their comments in response to your letter gave you the boost you needed to get through a difficult time.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.