Dear Abby: I am 23 years old, working full-time as a teacher and I’m about to move out of my parents’ house. I have decided to have breast augmentation surgery, and I know the best time to do it would be this summer so I’ll have time to recover before school starts.
The problem is my parents are adamantly against my having this surgery. I’ve heard it all: “I wish you loved your body the way it is.” “That’s so superficial,” and “You'll regret it!”
I would wait until I move out, but my new place (which is being built) won’t be finished until the end of the school year. I have postponed this surgery for several years, and now I have the money and I’m ready. How can I please my parents and also please myself?
Tired of Waiting
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Have another talk with your folks and explain that while they may wish you loved your body the way it is, you don’t. Tell them that you don’t feel wanting the surgery is superficial and that you feel it will give you confidence about your appearance that you don’t have now.
The decision about whether to have plastic surgery is a personal one. No one should make it “for” you; the choice should be yours and yours alone. If you decide later that you regret it, you can have the implants removed. Some women have done that — but most women don’t.
Dear Abby: I am planning a wedding this summer. My fiance and I are paying for it ourselves, so we are trying to keep it within a budget. I’m so excited I want to shout it from the rooftops because I thought this day would never happen.
My problem is, when I have shared the news of our engagement, some people have told me, “I can’t wait to get my invitation.” We have already made up our guest list and they aren’t on it, so how can I tactfully reply without offending? My fiance and I have even discussed whether it would be worth the extra money each guest will cost in order to keep the peace and not have anyone carry a grudge against us.
Struggling to be Polite
When someone who is not on your guest list says he or she can’t wait to receive an invitation, that’s your cue to explain that due to budget constraints, your wedding will be small — pretty much immediate family only. No one can argue with that.
Dear Abby: Yesterday I spent the afternoon with a friend who was in town for her husband’s business conference. Her 20-year-old son called her because he had broken the screen on his cellphone.
Over the next two hours as we visited, she took phone calls from him, researched places to get his phone fixed, then proceeded to fill out insurance forms on her phone for the repair while I sat there. I finally stood up and said I was leaving because she seemed to be “busy.” She immediately became offended and rudely said, “Well! Sorry I p-d you off!”
Abby, it was a broken cellphone, not a broken arm. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? We have been friends for more than 30 years.
You’re not wrong. Your friend must have thought her son’s predicament was an emergency, which is why she felt compelled to deal with it immediately.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.