Dear Abby: My best friend from school is pregnant. Her baby’s father is practically nonexistent, and she has no other friends besides me and one other person. I am the only one so far who knows about her pregnancy. She hasn’t told her dad and her grandparents because she’s scared they'll kick her out. She has nowhere to go. My parents have told me to cut her off. What should I do?
Because your friend is afraid to tell her family, she should talk to a counselor at school. The family will have to know soon because her pregnancy will become obvious, and she will need prenatal care so her baby will be born healthy.
I don’t agree with your parents that you should “cut her off.” She needs friends right now – and you can learn much from watching this scenario from the sidelines. Stress to her how important it is that she graduates from high school, because if she keeps her baby, she will need to be able to support it. Your state department of social services should also be contacted for guidance.
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Dear Abby: I am engaged to a man, “Keith,” who has numerous female “friends.” I suspect they are something more. Recently, during my second pregnancy, one of his “friends” decided to follow me, but would never say a word to me.
When I tell Keith I am uncomfortable with these women, he says I have “no right to dictate his personal life.”
I want to know if I’m wrong for not wanting to have to deal with these “friends,” even if they were his friends before we got together.
Listen to your gut. If one of Keith’s “friends” was stalking you, your feelings about her are probably accurate.
You have already had at least one child with your fiance. Recognize that Keith won’t change much if you manage to drag him to the altar. If he is telling you now that your feelings don’t matter (“you have no right to dictate his personal life”), I hope you realize this is how his attitude will be forever.
Personally, I wouldn’t wish a life with someone this self-absorbed on anyone I cared about. But if more of the same is what you are prepared to settle for, then all anyone can do is wish you luck.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.