When did being a mom become a synonym for lame?
It snuck up on us, this negative connotation for motherhood. We didn’t even realize we should be insulted when they started calling us soccer moms back in the 1990s.
But now we are in full-tilt ugliness. The mere mention of the word mom in a product name or reference implies empty-headed devotion to our kids with no sex appeal and certainly no taste in literature, wine or fashion.
Moms are the new four-letter word. The meaning has become downright mean.
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Mom = one-dimensional.
Un-hip. Boring. Badly-dressed.
Shorthand for pathetic.
God forbid somebody thinks I look like a M-O-M.
Think I’m being overly sensitive? Let me shoot you a few mom descriptors to prove my point.
Mommy juice: wine, usually cheap, with a cutesy label.
Mom hair: ponytail, usually secured with a scrunchie.
Mommy’s time out: girls’ night out, only you’re home earlier and you still have to get up early the next morning to take the kids to school.
Mom jeans: unflattering, high-waisted, medium-washed denim typically zipped up over a muffin-top belly. (Even President Obama can’t keep his cool in these.)
Mommy porn: “50 Shades of Grey” and other bad erotica mainstreamed into mediocrity.
Mom blogger: writers consumed with their kids and not punctuation.
Baby Mama: moms portrayed as gold diggers and emotionally starved because they’re not married to their children’s father.
Soccer/Hockey Mom: moms who have no life because they spend all their time ferrying their kids to practices and games.
Mom boobs: Saggy, stretched out from time spent as a primary food source.
Get the (unflattering) picture?
So how do we rescue moms from the derogatory ditches of society? Do we claim it loud and proud like Queer Nation? Do we dream up a new word for women with children, a title that commands respect and can’t be reduced to a put-down?
Chief Domestic Goddess? Child Research Associate?
How ’bout Daddy?