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Not Free to Be You & Me

Help, I’m living with two teenage censors.

I’ve seen plenty of guides and written warnings about how to monitor your kids' activity on Instagram, Twitter and other social media, but nobody seems to be addressing the real problem for parents.  

These damn kids are trying to stifle us.

It’s no secret that the young generation is a little sensitive when it comes to their parents posting photos and comments.

Poor Geraldo Rivera – did I just say “poor Geraldo?! – woke up the other morning to find his 18-year-old daughter ordering him to immediately "TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO" after he posted a tequila-induced, half-naked selfie on Twitter wearing nothing but a loosely draped towel and a pair of glasses. 

“70 is the new 50,” he tweeted before his daughter and Fox forced him to remove the post. 

Can’t a dad let his freak flag fly in public to 46,760 followers without his kid shutting him down?

This makes me think that Anthony Weiner’s 19-month-old son could have saved him a heap-o-trouble if he had only been old enough to control his dad overexposing himself on Twitter.

Let me be clear. I’m not interested in posting nudie self-portraits. (I know nobody is interested in seeing them, either.) I’m not even into selfies. I just want to post a photo of me with my kids every once-in-awhile, along with a few humiliating photos of my husband.

But no, I happen to live with two girls who make Tipper Gore and the FCC look overly permissive. They object if I post any photos of them, and they certainly don’t want me commenting on their pics or posts.

They secretly monitor my social media accounts to ensure I don’t slip one by.

Who cares about safety software to protect my kids online? We need some parental protection to hide our posts from our kids and alert us if they’ve detected our activity. 

“You’re not going to post that?” is the first thing out of their mouths after I take a picture. 

This is highly hypocritical since everybody under the age of 50 (70 if you’re Geraldo) is busy posting selfies night and day. Just this past weekend, while shopping with my 14-year-old at PacSun, I stood outside the dressing rooms and saw flashes of light going off behind every door. I thought it was a new shoplifting prevention system until I realized all the teen girls were shooting selfies in their new outfits so they could share them online and get their friends’ opinions. 

Can’t a mom get in on the fun without being policed by her own kids? I promise to stay away from tequila and dressing rooms. 

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