I don't care if ends with an "a" or an "er."
I don't care that you meant it with fondness to your friends on Instagram.
You are a white kid. The N-word will never be an endearment for you, no matter how down you are. Ever.
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It is toxic out of your mouth.
Not fair? Think I'm overreacting?
I thought we had covered this already, but I'll recap.
Millions of black men, women and children were brutally enslaved, raped, murdered, hanged, mutilated, sodomized with hot pokers, viciously beaten and whipped until shards of skin hung from their backs in our country. More than any other word, the N-word sums up this hate in one poisonous utterance that, no matter how fondly it is used, still has venom in its fangs.
Although this evil took place before you were born, its bitter aftermath continued legally as racist doctrine for another 100 years in America. That part of it – the separate schools, water fountains, bathrooms, lunch counters and marriages, and the bombings, lynchings and murders carried out by cowards in the name of separate but equal – is still a fresh, open wound in our nation.
Ask your grandparents about living with racism. Google "Obama" and "n**ger" and see how it still permeates our society.
There is nothing cute or chic about the word n**ger or n**ga. Any version or derivation of the word is unacceptable at all times from your lips. To use it is to disrespect black history and all its sacred memories, hardships, struggles and sacrifices.
I don't care if your friends of color use the word to own it or defang it. It is not your word to play with. This is a club you do not belong to, and you never will.
Double standard? Yep. Get over it. You have a lot of advantages in life. You can give this one up.
Every time you use a loaded word like this, you have to realize that there can be two meanings:
1) What you meant by it
2) What it means to the person who hears it
You are responsible for both, and this word speaks so loudly that the second meaning often trumps and obscures the first no matter who defends you.