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What Mommy Wars?

I'm not the first one who thinks reality TV is an oxymoron, but TLC's reality show, "The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom" ( promoted the biggest lie.

If you didn't waste your time watching this one-hour show, which recently ended its first season, here was the premise: An ordinary stay-at-home mom was given the chance to see what her life could have been like had she pursued her career instead of taking care of her family. Moms with one-time aspirations to be chefs, fashion designers and police officers were given the chance to pursue their dream job for a week. At the end, they could either choose to live the dual life of raising a family and have a career or go back to being a stay-at-home parent.

Here's the lie: Who has a choice?!

Contrary to the media's portrayal of a nasty battle raging between the stay-at-home crowd and working moms, most mothers I know are busting their butts holding down a day job and raising their kids. And this wasn't a conscious choice. It was an economic necessity.

Most of us don't have the luxury of thinking about the feminist fallout over staying at home vs. having a career. That kind of quandary is left for eggheads in Ivory Towers and writers trying to land a book deal.

For the majority of us whose daytime schedules don't include manicures and lunch with the girls, nothing makes me crazier than our culture's tendency to pit women in the workforce against homebound moms. More than 70.5 percent of American women with children under 18 work outside the home, according to U.S. Department of Labor stats. That's a pretty lopsided rivalry.

Mommy Wars? Yeah, right. The only real dilemma out there for today's mom is how to pay this month's mortgage.