I am so proud of my daughter but I don't want to tell you why. You may resent me. You may think i'm bragging and the not like me. You may then compare your child to mine and be resentful or upset at your child. You might think I am diminishing something good your child has done. You may one-up me two seconds after i finish my story and cause me to dislike you.
Ugh. Why is it so hard to share happy things about you child with other moms.
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I told one mom friend i was happy my daughter chose apples when given the choice between fruit and candy. the mom kind of told me I shouldn't be offering children candy as it sets a bad example and places candy on the same heirarchy as fruit.
is this where it starts? Overshadowing achievements with an invisibility cloak of modesty?
My daughter swam today for the second time - a 6 month hiatus in-between successes - and the first thing she did upon realizing she could swim, she turns to another girl at the pool, an 8 year old and says "I can swim. I'm 4. You're 8 and you're wearing a vest."
OK. I wouldn't bring it up like that. But I'm proud too. I am starting to believe I need to keep lists on friends. On what their kid can and can't do so i'll know who to call to share a little pride. Henri - he can swim - I'll call his mom. And, seriously, i wasn't jealous when she told me he could swim. It pushed me to believe in my daughter's success.
The crazy thing is I can't talk about so many things. Like dating. As the single-mom in the group, I feel it's expected that I have crazy dating stories. But I've been dating the same guy 2 years. He's consistent, nice, not funny at all, a little boring in fact. For V-day he bought me roses, took me to a Biltmore dinner, and bought me a Not a Wedding ring. (i'm the one who says don't buy me the wedding ring yet). Before I knew he'd do this, I asked two other play-date moms about their V-day plans and I heard enough to know they'd not appreciate my luck. So I kept it to myself and within the family.
I guess that's what family is for, but how can you strengthen friendships when you have to hide so much?
I don't have any need to talk about my kid which does differ from those who can't seem to stop talking about their kids, every drawing, every bowel movement, etc.
Though to make it clear: i do like when other moms tell me about the cool things their kid is doing. The real life stories to me are far more interesting than the rehash of what you read somewhere. That one of Pen's peers is doing 48 piece puzzles now, gives me something to aim for.
Yay to all kids! They're all better than another kid at something.