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Gentle Answers for Dear Questioners

Questions wanted!!!!

I've decided to give my blog a little spin so i can ease into this once a week rather than every 2 weeks. So here it is, A question and answer column of sorts... today i offer some samples from a book i worked on about Love And no question, Love has to do with mommys! without love how many of us would have our kids? My blog will be answering Mommy questions every other week after if you have any questions, and I don't know any mom without hundreds, please send them along!
And why did i start with love, where'd the book go...unfortunately my art partner on the book who did none of this writing is part of a long story with a moral... some friends can trusted, others, no way, no how. don't do the work without a contract first. gotta laugh at life lessons learned the hard way. if anyone out there knows a publisher please let me know i have a beautiful dummy book i did with another designer!
And what i posted below is all G-rated. so don't worry about reading it in front of your children.
What makes us think we have a soulmate?

As a species, we're optimistic. We truly believe that there's someone out there who's perfect for us and us alone. The better half. The yang to our yin. The pit to our olive. The rice to our pudding. Someone to exchange glances with and secret laughs. Someone who just understands. Romantics and curmudgeons alike, we need to believe that there's someone out there who'll reflect how perfect we are...Someone who will fill the voids therapy can't.

Why are red roses the symbol of love?

First off, they're not as expensive as diamonds or even high quality stuffed animals. Second, red is the symbolic color of love according to centuries of artists, poets, songwriters and greeting card stores. Red is always sexy, silky, passionate and fiery…red lipstick, red candles, red light bulbs, red underwear…Plus red hides any blood that might be shed when he hastily picks the roses from her neighbor's garden

If love in the eye of the beholder, how did it get there?

On a hot typical desert day, the beholder was wandering around in the desert. Suddenly something small and gritty breached his natural eyelash protection. At the nearest oasis he consulted his magnifying mirror. There was nothing in his eye! So he went to the ophthalmologist. The doctor looked and couldn't find anything either. "What did you see in the desert?", the doctor asked the beholder. Camels, sand, and a beautiful mirage. 5'7", brunette, high cheekbones, flowing hair, half naked with high breasts and a well-toned stomach…."Ah!" said the ophthalmologist, it's love. Please pay my receptionist on the way out.

Why are the eyes the windows of the soul?

They’re the only part of us yet that can’t be altered by hours at the gym, liposuction, implants or botox. They’re 100% incorruptible and thus honest. Of course we may try to change them with laser surgery and colored contacts, but the real truth is always reflected within. And so far only lobotomies have been able to change that.

Why is love blind?

One jealous partner. One misunderstanding. One well-aimed stiletto.

How did oysters become a famous aphrodisiac?

It all started with a brilliant ad campaign. How else could oyster fisherman compete with the other delicious riches of the sea? What did the oyster fishermen have? Slimy expensive fishy creatures with shells that needed a sharp knife, steel gloves, and an iron will to open? Well, they made do with what they had. Aphrodisiac became a registered trademark of the Oyster Market. The Sea Urchin Coalition was infuriated.

What made Eve bite the forbidden fruit?

It was late and where was Adam anyway? It’s not like he was at work…it was Eden for god’s sake. Where could Adam be, Eve thought nervously as she paced back and forth, back and forth, over the long thick roots of the Tree of Knowledge, ominous visions growing clearer in her head. Knowledge may be a bad thing but sometimes imagination can be crueler. The shadows crept across the field. This is no Eden she thought. Didn’t he know how his absence affected her. He could have sent a note. If only he’d have let her know he’d be late everything would be ok. I’ll show him. I’m going to Know what You’re doing Mister she said, knocking an apple to the ground.

and i'll be calling this: Gentle Answers for Dear Questioners so to separate the entries!