There's a word for moms like me: Mommyjacker. I follow Facebook statuses with something about my kid, even when my child has nothing to do with the conversation.
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Facebook Friend: I had a bad day at work.
Me: LOL. Until you have a toddler who insists on doing her own hair every morning with every barrette, hair tie and headband we own, you couldn't possibly know what a bad day is.
Facebook Friend: Still shaking. I was almost hit by a car today making an illegal left turn.
Me: That reminds me I need to buy Hot Wheels for a birthday party this weekend. Thanks!
Facebook Friend: Grieving. I had to put my beloved dog, Noodles, down yesterday after she ate a poisonous frog.
Me: How coincidental. Yesterday I bought P her 9th goldfish. She still thinks we're on fish #1.
Sometimes I even find I'm doing this at work.
Colleague: The $&*#^&% copier is jammed again.
Me: Did I tell you we went strawberry picking this weekend? They had homemade jam and I packed it in my daughter's lunch box. But not with peanut butter. She goes to a peanut free school. Let me show you her class picture.
Can you tell? I'm really popular.