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Single Parent vs. Two Parents. A Silly Debate.

Once again a writer ventured into the debate of single parent vs. two parent homes. She was on the side of the single parent with the article entitled "It's Better to Be Raised by a Single Mom." Unsurprisingly, she was attacked by, well, most of the internet. (Stay at home parents with time on their hands?)

Personally, I think the "Which is better, one parent or two parent homes" is so silly. The question is so obviously wrong.

Here are some better questions.

Which is better?

Reliable single mom with a good job at a bank or two parent home with a stay at home mom and a garage converted into a meth lab

Single mom who lives with her parents for the additional familial support or child in married parent home where mom is bipolar and won't take the meds. (a story I just read recently, too)

Single mom or married couple where husband has a good job and a bad anger management problem (this could have been my home)

Two parent home that lets son wear a tutu if he so desires or two parent home with both parents who taunt their own kid for allegedly (or really) being gay. (trick question)

I teach my kid that all families are different and we need to consider the individuals who make up that family and not a stereotype.

Even as a single mom, I don't lean on the side of the single parent though I know many good, successful adults who were raised by single moms. I'm not using my personal anecdote to support the debate becasue it's too small for so big an issue.

I will say, I believe there are a number of important qualities that both one or two parents need that are vastly more important to raising a good kid than whatever number of parents are living in the home.

Kids need stability, unconditional love, an involved parent, and a solid value system. It doesn't take a lot of money or a dad to provide this.

Single Mom vs. Two Parent Homes, there's no better or best at this simplistic level which lumps the generalizations against the generalizations .

Until a formal experiment is done, control group and all, I think it silly to argue otherwise. We all just need to make the best with what we have.

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