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Damn Electronic Thingys

Electronics do not make my life easier. I love my computer as a typewriter and an address book. I hate it because now I’m supposed to be a master at all the other things it allows me to do. I don’t have time to Excel spreadsheet my life which is supposed to save me time. I don’t have time to design my daughter’s birthday cards either. There’s design time and buying a new printer time to factor in. I spend more time unjamming my printer and replacing it’s ink than I do printing...How did that makes my life easier?

I’d never have a Leapfrog disk stuck in my typewriter but I do have one stuck in my computer now. I can’t get it out. Which takes me to why do I need to stick the disk in my computer in the first place? All my daughter wanted to do was play with her new Leapster Explorer. What ever happened to turning something on and it works.

And after I write this, I need to go answer some emails. Multiple emails to people who have jotted down their communication in two lined emails. And then they add music and drawings for me to download and comment on. I haven't taken a shower in two weeks for lack of time. Bring back the pony express when a letter took a month to arrive if the messenger wasn’t killed by wolves or lightening. You took time with the mail back then. And I love the email tests. Like the one where your cousin asks you which baby picture is your favorite. Out of 15,863 of them. Am I sure I don't prefer the one with the yellow hat and the blue onesie? The baby is looking at the camera with more expression. I've done this with sonograms too. Thanks technology for popularizing the embryo glamour shot. Not only that, I am forced to sign up for a photo site to view them. This means 15 minutes of my time, a new password to memorize and 40 minutes of junk mail to delete when the photo site sells my name.

I paid my credit card bill electronically a few times and was getting the hang of it when my identity was stolen. Three days on the phone, a trip to the police station, angry words with AT&T and a half day at the bank. I’m done with e-banking.

Ebay and Amazon allow me to break my budget in 30 minutes and in the privacy of my home. Why can't selling things on Ebay as easy a buying them.

Then there’s Facebook. If you don’t keep with everyone they wonder why you don’t find their lives fascinating enough to follow and comment about. Yes, isn’t 4square wonderful. Thank you for letting me know where you had dinner last night. And there is so much more. Flickr, tumblr LinkedIn, twitter,, all to make myself appear fascinating.

I believe there's a microchip in my cat somewhere and a ZhuZhu hamster leaking battery acid under the dresser. An, no, I don't know how to download apps or itunes.

What is good about not loving electronics is that I can easily leave 'em. This means I'm not talking on the phone while pretending to listen to my daughter or being a bad role model talking while driving. At night, we play instead of relaxing with a DVD. And until I take my compuer to the store, there'll be no disk drive for a while.

I can wait until my daughter is 9 and can help me make sense of it all.