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Mommy plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus

“I am not a napkin,” my sister said to her daughter as we were sitting in a pizza place after a nice morning of swimming and that made me laugh. Yes, her 3 year old was using her shirt to clean the sauce off her hands.

It made me think. We’re not only mothers. We’re not only human. Us moms can out stock a Wal-Mart.

My personal animal vegetable mineral short list and Penelope can back me up:

I am a

swim coach,

cheerleader, (yay penelope that IS an elbow)

bottle opener

horsie,

playmate,

friend,

coach,

couch

nurse.

bank,

pillow,

costume designer,

interior decorator,

handyman,

teacher,

dresser, (yellow sock goes with yellow sock)

role model, (ugh)

answering machine,

heater,

thermometer (who out there hasn't done the hand on the forehead?)

camel,

director,

cushion,

shoehorn,

climbing toy,

eating utensal,

mirror,

changing table (i actually changed her while sitting on an airplane while in my seat as i was near the window and the 2 people next to me were sleeping),

drink dispenser, (juice, juice, juice, milk, sel-wa, juice)

snack machine,

dietician,

chef,

waitress,

bus boy,

clown,

towel, (my shirt is a napkin too and so are my pants)

MP3 player (Little Mermaid tune, anyone?),

stop light,

therapist,

masseuse,

pharmacist,

travel agent,

white noise machine,

stock boy,

librarian, (Go Dog Go and Penelope says Good Night are our current favorites)

negotiator, (5 more minutes...then it's bed time...(five minutes later) 5 minutes more...THEN it's bed time)

alarm clock,

ring master,

baby wrangler,

bed,

pacifier,

chauffer,

beat box (does this word date me?)

sunshade,

carnival ride.

And I’m a daddy too as I suspect all mothers are. I don’t think that only goes for single moms like me.

Whew. No wonder I'm tired as 8pm rolls around.

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