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Yes. Your child is fascinating.

Yay. Your child can clap on cue! Thanks for sharing. Now can I please go. I want to see what my daughter is doing. I think she’s trying to eat a rock. I’m not sure what it is with parents that they want (need?) to have their child perform for others. Like the parrot who can sing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”.

If you tell me your child can warble “Happy Birthday” or finish your sentences like “On the street there are _____ (word “cars” goes here) , I believe you. I’m not sure what having me wait 10 minutes while you wrangle your child into doing that is going to accomplish except that both me and your child are somewhat irritated.

We want to go play.

Please, please, please can we go play now.

Yes, I’m interested in your child. I think children are neat and fun and I like knowing about all the different things they can do at different ages. I even have a master’s degree in elementary education. I find it fascinating to say the least, but goodness knows, if you tell me your 2-year old can recite the alphabet to “D”, I hope that’s not something you’d lie about.

Telling me she can point out star constellations, that you’d have to show me. I’d hope she can scrawl her name too -- I’d like her autograph.

Or if you’ve trained your child to be surprisingly witty, by all means share. For example, “On the street there are _____ (word “walkers” goes here)

By please lets not wait for the next airplane to fly by so you can point at it and your child can say “air pin”. Flight regulations space them at least 2 minutes apart and I’m sorry your child was too mesmerized by a rustling candy wrapper to catch the first one that flew by but I believe you I really do and I’m sure his mispronunciation is very, very adorable.

My favorite trick of Penelope’s is the way she can dance to all the lyrics of ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It.” She can clap her hands, stomp her feet and pat her head in all the right places. (Thank you librarian at the 22nd street library and Grammy Beverly.)

But even if I asked her to show her ”trick” to you, she most likely won’t.

She’s too busy waiting to see what you’ll do for her.