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Please, someone, anyone, explain to me why some moms wear 6-inch heels to the playground -- I won’t even comment on the 7 and 8-inchers. We’re not talking moms who just came home from work. We’re talking about moms, out in the playground mid day, who obviously don’t work, unless they work nights and they look too fresh faced for that. First off, kudos to them for being out their with their kids. But please explain to me how that could be comfortable? And what if their child decides to go, as Penelope puts it …”Runnnningggg…Runnnningggg…”

You know me, I’m the other mom. The one with the big juice stain on my shirt which perfectly complements the paint stain on my pants, usually jeans, one of the same two pairs (Levi’s) I repeatedly wash and wear all week, for weeks on end. And flats: sneakers, top-siders, loafers.

My hair is a mess. You can see my roots. Thankfully not too bad if left on their own. I still only need streaks and not the full dye job but that has nothing to do with me. Genetics gave me one plus, possibly out of pity for the rest of what I received.

And my nails. Lets not get started on those. You can tell I’ve been climbing those plastic rock formations after my daughter and scraping them on that black rubbery playground flooring as I try to set a good example picking up all the cheerios she’s dropped. Well, setting a good example and keeping her from going back and eating them later.

I’m not lazy. I guess I’m just cheap now – with money and time - in the grooming things. Yes, I do bathe every night but the frills, they’re just not such a high priority. Who am I looking to impress? If I have a date I can pull it together, but on a regular day…the nannys? Other moms? The rare daddy? The teenage park coaches? The photo lady at CVS? Because those are the people in my neighborhood.

Now grooming used to be a high priority. Very high. When I was in NYC, pre-baby I was getting pampered hand and foot at least once a week, $70 a pop as I found I could not live without the lavender bergamot spa mani-pedi treatment with the vitamin A, C, B1, B6, B12 and E infused calming properties of fresh-picked lavender and imported Italian bergamot spiked with clover, heliotrope and jasmine blossoms (night blooming only) with an extra $5 for the fast-drying topcoat polish. But now, whatever money I have I just want to spend it on my daughter. Making my ultimate accessory look good. With Penelope I could be carrying a $28000 purple alligator Hermes Birkin but all anyone notices when I’m with her are things like her curly hair, runny nose and Dora sneakers.

I do picture us going to mani-pedis one day together. This, because around age 6, she will start to take notice of me. And I don’t want her embarrassed of me. I mean the day will come when she wants me to drop her off 3 blocks from the school or mall. But I don’t want it to be that early. I’d like to hold off at least til the self-conscious double age digits, like 6.5.

Ah, I’ve answered my own question! Now I understand those heels.