I seem to have a magical connection with single moms. The other day I was at a local park, a dot on the map known to few beyond a four block radius. I was with another mommy friend of mine.
A woman I didn't recognize approached me. "I'm a single mom," she said "and these are my two kids." "I'm a single mom too," I said. A conversation starter? Reassurance?
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She happened to be with a man who was the daddy of those kids. "But we're not married," she said, "and we don't plan to be." Then she told me her story. it was winding, and complicated with highs and lows and hairpin turns.
Whatever she told me I'd think was OK. And it is. It usually is, unless you're hurting kids or animals and a few other exceptions. I'm not concerned so much with where you've been as with where you're going. Perhaps I am myopic but why do so many single moms judge themselves so harshly?
"I had children late. I see you did too," she said
"I screwed up my life"...a probing statement, from her, of my least favorite sort.
I can't agree with you there. You're here and this is now. You're not terminally ill. You have time. You have two great looking, what looks like fully functioning kids. You are telling me this while standing in Miami Beach. But this was unsaid. I let my eyebrows do the answering.
"I am so glad i found someone who I could share this all with," she said. And we exchanged numbers.