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A Wheel Problem

My first new car. Is it mean that I won’t let my daughter eat or drink anything while she’s riding in it? She can’t eat or drink 4-6 hours before riding in it either. If something going to make her upchuck, I want to know before we ride. I’ll make an exception for Cheerios sans milk and goldfish crackers.

I’ve got half a mind to put her back in diapers too. Though if she does go, it will be on the car seat, and I can lay down rolls and rolls of plastic in my baby extraction of her. Other peoples’ kids will be steam cleaned before entering.

See, I’ll say as I point to the large sign with the cross and bones I’m having made as we speak. It’s big enough for the 38 other rules I’m setting as well.

A sample:

1. No food or drink.

2. No wet bathing suits.

3. No pets. Unless shellac-ed and crated.

19. No drive thru stops. (Even if you don’t eat in the car, the grease smell will never come out)

27. No unsecured ant farms.

I’m still debating the possible rule #40: No glitter. Glitter can be cute.

The chances of us going to the beach again in the next 6 or so years? It’ll be on someone else’s car pool day

Where can I get that plastic wrap they have in airports?

My friends are hardly encouraging. I wrote about my new car – a nothing fancy Honda Accord - on my Facebook and the answers I got are keeping me and my daughter home a lot more. It seems in 6 months my new car is destined to look like my old one. An extension of a baby dumpster. Diapers new and old, I had both, as well as vintage juice containers. It was an archeologists paradise and a perfumers nightmare. As far as I know, the spectacularly pungent order of months old milk was never held in high esteem. The valets were never fighting to get my car, but signing up for a sick day. Then again, there are people who find limburger cheese a delicacy. You could have fed a family of 8 for a week on the crumbs in the back seat alone.

I wonder if this is what they really mean by “family car.”

But I’m going to try hard I really am to keep this nice. This is actually the first large thing I’ve “owned” that wasn’t a rental or a hand me down. Even my cats have been second hand.

I have a bus map being sent to my house.

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