So I just spent seven unforgettably long days and nights in the hospital after two major surgeries within just five days for a grand total of nine hours. I was extremely feeble and relatively trapped to the bed by countless wires and miscellaneous gadgets. Nonetheless, my mind was crystal clear and had plenty of time to wander actively.
This is the first post from my recent experiences. Enjoy.
Why Hospital = Bad Night's Sleep
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1. Incessant beeping of roommate’s disconnected IV apparatus falls upon deaf ears as nurses chatter away endlessly on their cell phones.
2. Use of jackhammer on floor above to modernize dated bathroom had to be scheduled between 2am-4am.
3. Pair of enthusiastic workers boasting (at 1:30am at full volume) of their stellar floor-polishing job with extra-noisy, state-of-the-art machinery.
4. Roommate can only sleep with her television volume on high, despite her snoring like a steam engine.
5. For some mysterious reason, room temperature dips to around 60 degrees after midnight and extremities are too frozen to press call button.
6. Each time patient care assistant enters to take blood pressure, she merrily flips on the brightest light possible and greets all as if we were at a Sunday football game.
7. Lack of designated hospital visiting hours conducive to parade of drunken young adults coming to visit "mom," i.e. my roommate, throughout all hours of the night.
8. Elderly, anti-techy nurse frustratedly battles with hospital’s cutting-edge computer system for 43 minutes until it "permits" her to administer pain medication to patient-waiting-in-agony (me.)
9. I can only “sleep” in propped up, back-breaking position so fractured sinuses don’t swell and obstruct breathing. Try it for kicks. For twelve hours.
10. Roommate’s boyfriend picks fight with roommate’s adult daughter at 5:23am. While he threatens her safety, my efforts to alert security of impending violence are in vain.
Problem: Security hollers at me several times to speak up because he understands nothing.
Missing Data (he should know): Patient's jaw is wired shut and entire face numb so coherent speech is an impossibility. And, I am scared for my own life if discovered ratting out.