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Greg Cote: Beyoncé goes whole 9 yards to prove talent

Super Bowl With a Smirk would like to set the record straight and deny that New York Post report. Smirk has never at any time cheated on Mrs. Smirk and did not father a love child in 2005. However, Smirk is a steady user of deer antler velvet.

Now on to our latest offering:

Super Bowl halftime star Beyoncé materialized Thursday at the media center in New Orleans to promote her performance, but the news conference was marred when a tape malfunction interrupted her lip-synched response to a question.

I kid because she lip-synched the national anthem at the presidential inauguration, of course. Beyoncé began Thursday’s media event by singing the anthem live and then asking the packed room, “Any questions?” — which is so perfect not even Smirk can make fun of it. She promised to sing live Sunday.

As you know, Super Bowl halftime shows have come to be every bit as anticipated as the game itself, according to Super Bowl halftime show producers.

This one might be even more anticipated than most because of the possibility of a Destiny’s Child reunion, because husband Jay-Z could make a surprise appearance, and because men from coast to coast will be trying to will a wardrobe malfunction.

It is widely speculated that Beyoncé’s first song Sunday will be Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It). I say that because of the allusion to a Super Bowl ring, but mostly because that’s the only Beyoncé song Smirk could think of.