Yeppers, it’s that time of year again. You know what to do: resolve to change for the better. And since we don’t know what goes through celebrities’ minds (unless they Instagram it), we decided to imagine a few resolutions they might make:
Giuliana Rancic: Consume at least a burger a week. Eclair for dessert.
Bruce Jenner: Let the freak flag fly.
Jennifer Lawrence: Deactivate iCloud account.
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Justin Bieber: Stay off the roads in Miami Beach.
Chelsea Handler: Put down the selfie stick.
Leonardo DiCaprio: Try celibacy.
Dustin Diamond: Count to three before doing anything rash.
Teresa Giudice: Take a self-defense class — quickly.
Idris Elba: Keep up the good work at the gym.
Andy Cohen: Ask out Anderson Cooper.
Miley Cyrus: Stay home more.
Janet Jackson: Avoid the plastic surgeon’s office.
Chris Pratt: Repeat the mantra: “Carbs are not your friend.”
Kim Zolciak: Cover up.
Selena Gomez: Move on.
Pharrell: Wear pants on red carpets.
David Cassidy: Don’t lose the number for the car service.
Amy Pascal, other hacked Sony execs: When gossiping, use the phone.
Kim Kardashian: Stop wearing beige, tan — and nude.
Bradley Cooper: Get nominated for an Oscar — and win.
George Clooney: Make it to the first anniversary.