COVER UP FOR THE PLAYMAKER

Fort Lauderdale native Michael Irvin, a Hall of Fame receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, probably won't be gift-wrapping copies of Jeff Pearlman's explosive new book Boys Will Be Boys for friends and family this Christmas, judging from an opening chapter entitled ``Scissors To The Neck.''

Pearlman, once an award-winning investigative reporter for Sports Illustrated and now an ESPN.com columnist, focuses on the swashbuckling, hard-partying Cowboys teams that won three Super Bowls in the early 1990s. He begins the book with a bizarre incident -- Irvin slashing teammate Everett McIver across the neck with a pair of scissors when the veteran offensive lineman refused to yield his seat in a barber's chair to Irvin at the Cowboys' training camp in the summer of 1998.

Irvin insisted that his seniority allowed him to have his hair cut before McIver. When McIver declined and smacked the trash-talking Irvin in the mouth with a closed fist, Irvin is quoted in the book as saying ``I just lost it. I mean my head. I lost it.''

According to Pearlman, ``Irvin grabbed a scissors, whipped back his right arm and slashed McIver across the neck. The tip of the scissors ripped into McIver's skin, just above the collarbone and inches from the cartoid artery. McIver let loose a horrified scream.''

Pearlman also writes that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones covered up the incident.

''As the 18-stitch gash on McIver's neck gradually healed,'' Pearlman wrote, ``Jones did everything in his power to make certain the incident disappeared. Really, to make certain Irvin -- already on probation for cocaine possession -- would not be shipped off to jail. McIver was offered a high six-figure payoff to keep the story under wraps. (He accepted.)

'When those involved in what came to be knowm as `Scissorgate' met with the judge overseeing Irvin's probation, they laughed it off as a simple case of McIver's having engulfed Irvin in a bear hug that led to some playful wrestling and an accidental cut. No big deal. Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee.''

The book also details what the jacket cover describes as Irvin's dual addictions to drugs and women and focuses on a wide cast of dysfunctional Cowboys characters, including former UM coach Jimmy Johnson and his Dallas successor, Barry Switzer -- neither of whom will much like the contents, either.

THREE UP

OLD MEN

There was 35-year-old Tampa Bay linebacker Derrick Brooks dominating against Green Bay. Once Green Bay's most permanent fixture outside of Lambeau Field and certain sports bars, the Jets' Brett Favre, 39, fired a career-high six touchdown passes in New York. Carolina wide receiver, Mushin Muhammad, 35, crossed into 600 career catches with the team.

JACKSONVILLE

The Jags looked like their old, muscular selves in putting it to AFC South foes Indianapolis and Houston. Now, they get a Pittsburgh team that needs bailout plans at running back and offensive line and is coming off a short week after a bruising Monday night game.

JASON CAMPBELL

Gee, maybe patience and consistency -- particularly a lot of the first if you don't have much of the second -- really help in developing quarterbacks.

THREE DOWN

BRAD CHILDRESS

First, Minnesota's coach reversed field on quarterback Tarvaris Jackson after all but declaring there would be a Viking funeral before Jackson was replaced. Then, instead of admitting he made a blunder by punting when trailing by 13 to Tennessee with 2:00 left, Childress claimed he thought the Vikings' defense could get the ball back. Problem: Minny had no timeouts left. Either that's bad lying or stupid coaching.

CINCINNATI

At one time, it seemed the Bengals could rise from the grave of pitiful play in which they have been buried since the 1990s. Alas, they have been sucked down again, driven by injuries to signing someone else's bust, running back Cedric Benson. Even receiver Chad Johnson's name change didn't go smoothly. Oh, and Carson Palmer has arm problems.

TERRELL OWENS

Get open and hang onto the ball before kvetching about being underutilized, especially when one-third of the plays were designed to put the ball in your hands.

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