What South Florida sports fans are talking about:
1.Hanley Ramirez's huge contract: Traditionally cheap Marlins ownership offers its star shortstop a six-year, $70 million deal. No, seriously. I swear I just saw a cow flying overhead. Being chased by a pig.2.Marlins still in first place: They are back on top in NL East entering the weekend road swing after a home sweep of Milwaukee. The bad news? MLB turned down a Marlins special request to play all remaining games against the Brewers.3.NBA playoff quarterfinals: Pistons, Celtics, Lakers and Hornets nursed series leads entering the weekend. Boston's advantage over Cleveland was reflected in the sign that read, ''Shhh. Let's not wake LeBron James.'' Cannot confirm the Cavs were trying to bribe a Celtics reserve to call LeBron overrated.4.Dwyane Wade begins rehab: It is understandable how important D-Wade's left knee is to this franchise. What is harder to grasp is that the immediate future of the Heat and the happiness of its fans would have so much to do with the capricious fall of a bunch of silly Ping-Pong balls.5.NHL conference finals: It's down to Philadelphia vs. Pittsburgh and Detroit vs. Dallas in the playoffs. I suggested before the season that the playoffs be based solely on alliteration, but who thought they'd ever go for it!-- GREG COTE
Former Patriots videographer Matt Walsh has turned over more ''Spygate'' evidence to the NFL and is to meet on Tuesday with commissioner Roger Goodell.
Eight new tapes show illegal spying on opponents' signals in six games between 2000-02, three of the games involving the Dolphins. That is beyond the 2007 incident that cost the Pats a first-round draft pick and coach Bill Belicheat a substantial fine.
Despite the new evidence, it is widely believed Goodell will theatrically carry a large pushbroom into the meeting with Walsh in order to more efficiently sweep the scandal under the rug.
The NFL already has rejected Random Evidence's suggested new penalties, which were that the team be renamed the New England Cheatriots and that Gillette Stadium be rechristened as The Cheatah Lounge. However, the league has agreed to our new name for the team's quarterback: Tom Shady.
• Hey, Happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere! For some reason I feel like this holiday is for me, too. Not sure why. Maybe because so many readers, in e-mails, have referred to me as a mother.
• The Florida International University football and men's basketball teams lost a few scholarships for shortcomings in the NCAA's annual Academic Progress Report. It might have been a bad sign when some of the athletes were laboring over how to spell ``F-I-U.''
• Weird mixup at Churchill Downs. (I'm surprised this wasn't a bigger story.) Turns out the Kentucky Derby was not won last week by Big Brown, after all. It was won by 1980s Dolphins safety Bud Brown.
• Did you see that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals claimed, without basis, that the actions of Eight Belles' jockey contributed to the horse's demise following the race? I would never suggest PETA is all about the publicity stunt, but I understand its next cause will be to claim that Mr. Ed was subjected to years of mental abuse by Wilbur.
• This is a promising sign. It has been more than a week now, and Pat Riley still hasn't told Erik Spoelstra he wants his old job back.
• Roger Clemens, under a steroids cloud, seen as a liar and accused of multiple affairs, including one with a 15-year-old girl, issued a generic apology for unspecified mistakes. You know things are going bad for a ballplayer when he even whiffs on the apology.
• Home stretch for top-ranked UM baseball, which has a big regular-season closing series against North Carolina, and then opens postseason play in 10 days. Three words: Omaha Or Bust.
• I heard that Dolphins coach Tony Sparano sat bolt upright in bed in a cold sweat the other morning. He dreamed that Jason Taylor sustained a career-ending back injury on Dancing With The Stars from being violently hugged backstage by the heavy girl from Hairspray.
• Bears running back Cedric Benson was charged with boating while intoxicated and resisting arrest after being doused with pepper spray and dragged ashore. Oddly enough, Benson has never proved that difficult to take down for NFL defenders.
• Dolphins quarterback Josh McCown said in The Miami Herald this week he is convinced he's in the right place at the right time. Dear Josh: You will be in the wrong place the nanosecond Team Tuna decides John Beck or Chad Henne is ready.
• Michael Vick has been ordered to pay more than $2.4 million to a Canadian bank for defaulting on a loan. Damn. And just when things were going so well for him!
• The choreographer for the New York Jets cheerleaders said the group is open to tryouts by men dressed as women. Meaning the fat guys in the Gastineau jerseys chanting ''J-E-T-S!'' might no longer be the ugliest people in the stadium.
• TNT analysts Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith will be barefoot during Sunday's Inside theNBA to promote a charity that outfits impoverished children with shoes. Cannot confirm the show will open with Barkley making a face and saying, ``What's that smell!''
• The Lakers' Kobe Bryant won his first NBA MVP award. Now instead of being seen as a selfish player, he will be seen as a selfish player with an MVP trophy.
• At Dolphin Stadium, the Hurricanes held a select-a-seat for fans Saturday. Farther south at the Orange Bowl, they held a select-a-piece-of-rubble.
• The Panthers are still without a head coach. Hey, there's a thought. Try playing a season coach-less. It's not like they have done much the past 10 years with a coach.
• Baseball has its owners meeting this week in Milwaukee. The first order of business is expected to find owners grappling with the obvious question: Why on Earth would we meet in MILWAUKEE!?
• Alex Rodriguez's wife said he is ''wimpy around doctors'' and almost passed out during the birth of their child. Coincidentally, Yankees fans say A-Rod is ''wimpy around October'' and usually flies out during the playoffs.
• Baseball's Julio Franco announced his retirement at age 49, surprising analysts who were under the impression he had retired years earlier.
• Just wondering. With Marlins middle reliever Renyel Pinto pitching so well, if he demanded a raise, would the headline be, ``Can team afford Pinto?''
• Scott Olsen came close but failed to become the first Marlins starter since 2006 to go nine innings. My question: How is it mathematically possible to complete seasons without completing games?
• Miami is playing host to the Pan American Judo Championships. You remember judo. It's what you thought of when you thought of ''martial arts,'' back before the phrase was stolen by a bunch of goons fist-fighting and kicking each other.
• The USA Diving Grand Prix was held in Fort Lauderdale. Events included synchronized diving, which has officially taken over as Silliest Olympic Sport. ''Thank God,'' said longtime title-holder Curling.
• I looked up ''selfish, pampered athlete'' in the dictionary and saw a picture of Maria Sharapova pouting because the WTA Tour required her to participate in a tour photo shoot the day after a long flight. (This, by the way, from a woman who endorses Canon cameras.)
• David Witthoft, 12, of Ridgefield, Conn., finally changed shirts after wearing the same Brett Favre jersey for 1,581 consecutive days since getting it for Christmas in 2003. Cannot confirm David ended the streak when he began to notice girls and they told him he smelled.
• Parting thought: The PGA Tour's Players Championship ends Sunday in Ponte Vedra Beach. I don't wanna say he's good, but Tiger Woods leads by six strokes while playing in a knee brace and using a crutch as a putter.
Catch Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com.
