Finally, we get to what basketball fans have been anticipating and waiting so long to enjoy.
What? Oh. You thought I meant Monday’s men’s NCAA Tournament championship game? Nah. Not really. Although that should be pretty good, too, now that you mention it.
But I meant arguably the most drama-filled Heat regular-season week of the Big 3 Era if not ever.
As the NBA schedule winds down, Dwyane Wade endeavors to get healthy and Miami tries to secure the very important No. 1 conference playoff seed, dig this week’s menu. (Yes. Yes I am trying to bring back the hippie-era colloquialism “dig.” Who’s with me?)
Sunday: Heat hosts its once bitterest rival, New York. Phil Jackson’s Knicks are fighting for the final postseason spot out of the East, so this game could be a first-round playoff preview.
Tuesday: Heat hosts the star-filled, playoff-bound Brooklyn Nets, who are 3-0 against Miami this season. (Heat hopes to be cutting down the Nets. No ladder needed.)
Wednesday: Heat visits Memphis, with the desperate Grizzlies clawing to make the playoffs out of the West.
Then, Friday: Oh my! Heat hosts its new bitterest rival, Indiana, in what could be tantamount to a winner-take-all for that No. 1 seed. And you know the Pacers will be ready after Roy Hibbert called his teammates “some selfish dudes.”
Heat coach Erik Spoelstra, anticipating the week’s battles, said, “We’re sharpening our swords.”
While I think of it, LeBron James recorded a rap song he calls Kingdom.
The lyrics include, “My team eating, the rest of y’all drought.” And: “Say what you will about the King. Got money, got cribs, got whips and, oh yeah got two rings!”
Um, not sure what LeBron means by those whips, but I assume they are alongside Spo’s sharpened swords in the Heat arsenal, should they be needed this week.
• The Dolphins signed QBJordan Rodgers
, the brother of Packers star
. That would only be exciting news if they were identical twins and Dolfans could hold out hope for a switcheroo.
• Miami also brought in veteran receiverNate Burleson
for a free agent visit. Burleson broke his arm last year in an auto accident caused by trying to stop a box of pizza from sliding off his passenger seat. Dear Nate: They have a thing now called “delivery.”
• The Titans cut fading, pricey RBChris Johnson
in a salary dump. In the mood for a splashy $8 million-a-year gamble, Dolphins ownerStephen Ross
? (Yeah, I didn’t think so.)
• NFL.com had a bracket vote for the all-time greatest quarterback and its final four wereTom Brady
and (ready?)Donovan McNabb
! Who were the voters? McNabb’s immediate family?
• Famous rich personDonald Trump
said he’s considering buying the Buffalo Bills. New team name: the Buffalo Large-Denomination Bills.
• Mets second basemanDavid Murphy
missed Opening Day on a three-day paternity leave and was criticized on New York radio. The good news? Radio listeners can’t see the hosts’ knuckles dragging on the ground.
• Dodgers hitting coachDon Baylor
sustained a broken leg while catching his team’s ceremonial first pitch on its Opening Day. Maybe someone said “break a leg” to wish him luck, and he took it literally.
seemingly spontaneous selfie withPresident Barack Obama
during the Red Sox’s White House visit turned out to a stunt for Samsung. It was a big opportunity. A Big Papitunity.
• As YankeeDerek Jeter
begins his farewell season,David Letterman
announces he’s retiring next year. Trending: The Long Goodbye.
• A Forbes list of the world’s greatest leaders ranks Jeter 11th. Either Forbes has too many lists, or the world has too few leaders.
predictably won Key Biscayne tennis titles last week in a finish marred by forfeitures in both men’s semifinals because of minor ailments. Imagine if that happened in other sports? “The Marlins won last night by forfeit when the Padres encountered gastroenteritis.”
• Minnesota won the men’s NIT tournament and not even people in Minnesota cared.
is talking about megastars such asCristiano Ronaldo
playing for Miami’s MLS soccer team. How ’bout you get a stadium built first, then a team, andthen
think about players.
• Constitution won the 63rd Florida Derby, a big Triple Crown-season prep race. It’d be a terrific story for horse racing if Constitution happened to be born in 1776. But I checked. He wasn’t.
• Golf Digest is defending its sexy cover photo of a barely cladPaulina Gretzky
, whose only tie to golf is being the fiancée of the PGA Tour’sDustin Johnson
. Dear Golf Digest: How about you put an actual women’s golfer on your cover for the first time since 2008?
• And you thoughtKobe Bryant
has had it tough with injuries? NowFloyd Mayweather’s
uncle is trying to trademark the “Black Mamba” nickname and steal it from Kobe. Oh, the indignity!
Still don’t have enough reasons yet to hateJohnny Manziel
? Here’s another. His lawyers have filed a trademark claim on the phrase, “The House That Johnny Built.” (Lord how I wish I were kidding.)