The Sochi Olympics began with an Opening Ceremonies like you’d only find in Russia, and I’m not sure what part of it was more memorable:
The stage production pantomiming the arrest of dissidents protesting the country’s anti-gay law; the 200-foot Vladimir Putin balloon; the celebration of the 150th anniversary of the Circassian genocide; the pack of stray dogs chasing terrified Iraqi figure skaters during the parade of nations; the musical entertainment by Pussy Riot; or the recitation of the entirety of Tolstoy’s War and Peace.
The Winter Olympics are not as popular as the Summer Games, and I think it’s because too many winter sports have bizarre names. Here is a list I’m looking at, and what they mean to me:
Curling (which involves a broom): Activity taking place in a women’s hair salon.
Slopestyle: Plastic surgeon jargon for a nose job technique.
Halfpipe: “Local police have arrested 16 men in a narcotics sting, confiscating halfpipes and other drug paraphernalia.”
Nordic Combined: With what? And why?
Moguls: A downhill slalom race between Donald Trump and Bill Gates.
Certain other events are not Winter Olympics sports yet but should be. These include synchronized ice fishing, yodeling, avalanche surfing and rhythmic shivering.
I have been told there is one actual sport, biathlon, that involves both cross-country skiing and shooting guns.
That happens to be a very popular sport in Miami, but without the cross-country skiing part.Dennis Hickey still Tony Dungy