The NFL likes to say its Pro Bowl game, being played Sunday night in Hawaii, is the ceremonial kickoff to “Super Bowl Week.” If I were the NFL, I would deny any association with the Pro Bowl and claim I’d never even heard of it. At the very least I’d continue to discreetly move it farther and farther from the mainland until at last it was being held on an undisclosed date in an open field somewhere in northeastern New Zealand.
Super Bowl Week being led off by the Pro Bowl is like the Macy’s Day Parade being led off by an exploding float, like your Super Bowl party being led off by food poisoning.
The Super Bowl is America’s biggest and favorite sporting event, but the Pro Bowl, no matter how much they tweak and re-image it, remains the festering pimple on the NFL cheek, hopelessly unpopular but apparently too embarrassing to simply discontinue.
Even John Madden, America’s Football Uncle, this week called the Pro Bowl “an embarrassment.” He was being kind.
Luckily, a particularly delicious Super Bowl follows.
To me it’s the perfect matchup.
Because it’s Denver’s No. 1 offense vs. Seattle’s No. 1 defense? Well, that, too. But I meant because it’s a meeting of the two major cities from the only two U.S. states to legalize recreational use of pot smoking. Some have already coined this the Marijuana Bowl (which I’m sure Roger Goodell likes about as much he likes a class-action concussion lawsuit).
This might explain why Seahawks and Broncos fans are so famously loud. They’re not cheering for their teams. They’re screaming for more snacks on account of the munchies.
Thousands of fans from Colorado and Washington already have begun the drive east to attend next Sunday’s Super Bowl in East Rutherford, N.J. However, many will fail to get there after stopping their VW vans en route to have a snack and forgetting where they were going or why.
That may be just as well.
I heard that Gov. Chris Christie, angry that New York is getting most of the attention as host, plans to order all roads, tunnels and bridges into New Jersey closed to keep out visitors.Ted Wells Duke Johnson Teddy Bridgewater Kobe Bryant