Heat needs anger, doubt; so here is some for team

12/08/2013 12:01 AM

12/08/2013 1:10 AM

The Big 3-era Heat have always seemed to do best when hated, doubted or angry, and I believe it might be time to sow some of that controversy and discontent for the good of the team. It seems added motivation might be needed.

Miami already had lost five games — including two in a row entering the weekend — all five to teams with losing records. Narrow escapes against dregs like Orlando and Charlotte have hardly instilled confidence in a three-peat, either.

Now the team reportedly is shopping for a trade for backcourt help as Dwyane Wade continues to battle creaky knees.

Genuine panic is a ways off. Actually, Tuesday, if the Heat lose at Indiana. Until then, let’s manufacture some to give this team a spark. Here’s a six-pack:

1. Hey, Heat, you’re distracted. Wade is involved in a Fox sitcom based on his life as a single dad. LeBron James and comedian Kevin Hart are making a basketball bro-film called “Ballers.” You may need a new agent, Chris Bosh. What, no movie scripts? Dear Fellas, feel free to concentrate on basketball and treat it like a fulltime bleepin’ job!

2. Did I mention that Wade has a new line of designer men’s socks and that LeBron is in talks to join David Beckham and bring pro soccer to Miami? Be thankful at least the guys aren’t carrying cell phones and taking business calls during games. Yet.

3. Hey, Heat, how lazy or disinterested does a team have to be for its starters to get out-rebounded by the other team, 37-9? Rhetorical question. It happened to Miami on Thursday against Chicago.

4. Hey, D-Wade, you’re a month from turning 32. Although the ways things are going with taking nights off to rest your knees, I’m not sure if 32 is an age or a projected number of regular-season games played.

5. Hey, I thought I just saw Pat Riley discreetly remove his old coaching whistle from mothballs and caress it lovingly.

6. Heat, your reserves say they could make the playoffs — that Miami in effect has two playoff teams. How ‘bout you go show us Tuesday at Indiana that you still have one team that can win another championship?

OK, hopefully we’ve annoyed or angered Heat players a bit, as a public service.

You’re welcome.

• Helpful holiday hint: If you have already finished your Christmas shopping, keep it to yourself. People hate people like you. That reminds me. All I want for Christmas is a photo of Nick Saban’s face as that Auburn game ended.
•  Jim Larranaga’s Hurricane men (5-4) open ACC basketball play Sunday here vs. Virginia Tech. Um, Shane Larkin isn’t playing much for the Dallas Mavericks. Could the Canes borrow him back for the day?
• Dolphins coach Joe Philbin had GPS tracking devices fitted on practice jerseys to monitor players’ activity. What he needs more is a GPS on Steelers receiver Antonio Brown to keep track of HIM Sunday.
• It’s taking the NFL forever to conclude its Dolphins Bullygate probe and make findings public, the delay suggesting seeming indecision. Who’s running this investigation, Brett Favre?
• The state decided to not pursue sexual-assault charges against FSU quarterback Jameis Winston, despite desperate arguments by lawyers from teams that could yet face the Noles for the national title.
• Delta stranded 50 passengers so the Florida Gators could make it to a game at UConn. Bulletin to Delta: Your paying customers are more important than a game.
• They say Americans only love winners. Oh yeah? Then why did Dale Earnhardt Jr. just win his 11th NASCAR favorite-driver award?
•  Kobe Bryant said on his Facebook page he would return from his Achilles’ injury and play Sunday. I wonder if, as a courtesy, he also informed Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni?
•  LeBron James treated his team to Thanksgiving dinner at his 30,000-square foot mansion just outside Akron, Ohio. I don’t wanna say the affair was extravagant, but the catered banquet arrived by Mayflower. Not the moving van. The original one.
• Cavaliers fans mounting a “Come Home LeBron” campaign handed out thousands of T-shirts for Heat’s game in Cleveland. Wonder if those were the same fans burning his jersey three summers ago?
• NBA fined coach Jason Kidd $50,000 for intentionally spilling a drink on the court to delay a game. If not for the DUI bust and the Nets’ 5-14 record, it might be the worst thing to happen to Jason lately.
• The Knicks’ Metta World Peace and Kenyon Martin got into a “heated argument” over whether elbow macaroni or shell pasta was better. Headline: ‘World Peace Threatened By Noodles.’
• Bulls star Derrick Rose out injured for second straight season. “What is it about us Roses and misfortune?” said Pete Rose.
• GQ magazine named Dennis Rodman the “least influential person” of 2013. Damn. Thought I had a shot at that!
•  Manny Pacquiao returned to the ring for first time in two years with decisive win over Brandon Rios. Pacquiao’s next thoroughly under-qualified opponent is yet to be determined.
•  Parting thought: The FIU football team quietly fell to 1-12 Saturday after losing to the offseason, 41-6.

Visit Greg’s Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com and follow on Twitter @gregcote, Instagram/upsetbird, Vine/Greg Cote and Facebook/Greg Cote.

About Greg Cote

Greg Cote

@gregcote

Greg Cote has been a Miami Herald sports columnist since 1995 and also writes the Random Evidence blog and NFL predictions along with his notorious sidekick the Upset Bird. He has covered Hurricanes football (1984-88), the Dolphins (1990-91) and major events including Super Bowls, NBA Finals, World Series, Stanley Cup, Olympics and World Cup.

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