We all know that LeBron James’ nickname is “King” James.
Sorry. No longer good enough. Falls short. Does not properly reflect his omnipotence.
I’d suggest “God,” but I hear that’s already taken.
Sunday happens to be Michael Jordan’s 50th birthday, and to many he remains the greatest basketball player ever, but enough with Jordan already! Sorry, Mike, but you never had the all-around game that is in full blossom with LeBron right now.
These are heady days for Miami basketball. We have the best player, and we also have the best teams. Note the plural there.
It is deliciously arguable which Big 3 is more impressive right now:
The Heat’s LeBron/ Dwyane Wade / Chris Bosh triumvirate — all starters in Sunday’s All-Star Game in Houston — gunning for a second consecutive NBA championship. Or the Miami Hurricane men’s big No. 3 national poll ranking, best by far in school history on the wing of an unbeaten record in the Atlantic Coast Conference.
Down here it all starts, though, with LeBron — the best, and getting better.
I honestly believe there is nothing LeBron can’t do, with the possible exceptions of brokering permanent peace in the Middle East or making Marlins fans like Jeffrey Loria .
And I’d give him half a shot with the peace thing.• A world record was set Thursday for most desperate men crammed into the smallest area. It was 3,847 procrastinators in a local Hallmark store on Valentine’s Day.
• Miami Herald readers chose a winner in a contest to design a new Dolphins logo, the entries verifying our long-held belief that it is simply impossible to make a friendly, grinning, leaping bottlenose dolphin appear the least bit menacing.
• In other Dolphins news, nobody knows anything about what the team will do in free agency or the draft, but people keep talking as if they do. Draftniks guess Tennessee receiver Cordarrelle Patterson could be Miami’s first-round pick. He is best known for having a first name that looks like it has way more letters than are necessary.
• A year after ending a 10-season NHL postseason drought, the Panthers are off pace again with only four wins in 14 games after Saturday’s overtime loss to the Lightning. They did make the playoffs last year, right? Or did we dream it?
• Tim Hardaway is among 12 finalists for the Basketball Hall of Fame. I like his chances, especially since Alonzo Mourning threatened to beat up anybody who doesn’t vote for him.
• Tiger Woods confirmed he’d play both Doral and Honda this year. Tiger hasn’t won a major since 2008 but continues to draw the largest galleries — mostly gold-digging blondes hoping for a relapse.
• The buildup has begun to next Sunday’s NASCAR season-opening Daytona 500. Gentlemen of the media, start your Danica Patrick search engines!
• Serena Williams , 31, regained tennis’ top spot for the first time in 2 1/2 years, breaking Chris Evert’s record for oldest woman at No. 1. Serena breaks her record with every day that passes. No, every second!
• The Associated Press reported UM tested its baseball players for human growth hormone. I’d say this. Given the team’s long title drought, if they are using HGH, they aren’t using enough of it.
• A friend of O.J. Simpson , Norman Pardo , is trying to sell a movie about efforts to rehabilitate Simpson’s image after his 1995 acquittal for double murder. Hmm. I’m guessing O.J.’s current 33-year prison sentence for kidnapping and armed robbery might be further hindering those efforts.
• Answer: Andy Roddick will play in the World Team Tennis league this summer. Question: You know how sometimes athletes say they’re retiring but don’t really mean it?
• Norman Braman said he is ready to fight the Dolphins’ stadium-improvement plan. Of course he is! New nickname for Norman: The One-Man Picket Line.
• The International Olympic Committee voted to discontinue wrestling. I’ve enjoyed hearing the outrage from people who could not name an Olympic wrestler to save their life.
• The “independent” Paterno Report concluded Joe Paterno did all he could in the Jerry Sandusky sex-abuse scandal. In an unrelated story, a new Nixon Report has concluded Watergate wasn’t that big a deal.
• Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum has cut his hair short. He no longer looks like a guy who should be co-starring with Cheech in a bong ad.
• Longtime former Red Sox favorite Kevin Youkilis said this week he is “proud to be a Yankee.” Bosox fans used to chant “Yoouuuu!” The new chant will sound similar, but be slightly different.
• The Miami International Boat Show ends Monday. I thought of buying a really nice boat once, then got smart and decided instead to cultivate a friend who owned a really nice boat.
• Sentences I Never Thought I’d Write: “And in winter sports, World Cup ski-jumping events recently were won by people named Schlierenzauer and Seifriedsberger.”
• At a recent seminar in Hollywood, local residents were told how to deal with wild coyotes in their neighborhoods. The agreed-upon answer: Have a roadrunner drop an Acme anvil on them.
• Parting thought: Rocco Mediate won in Boca Raton in his debut on the PGA’s Champions Tour made up of senior players who are older and past their prime. It’s like watching a Knicks game!
Visit Greg’s Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com and follow on Twitter @gregcote.