The Dolphins are not only going to upset the Jets on Sunday, but they also are going to be .500 this season, finish second in the AFC East and only miss a wild-card berth by one game. Meaning, with a break here or a fortuitous bounce there, the team that ended last season 1-15, cloaked in shame, could actually make the playoffs.

No, I have not been eating spiked brownies.

As a matter of fact, I am more confident in my Dolphins forecast than I am in my Super Bowl pick, based on a proven track record.

Every year on this page, at this time, as we embark on another season of Friday NFL picks, I forecast the Super Bowl outcome.

It's like a rite of passage, except my rite is always wrong. My passage fails.

This year my Super Bowl prediction is: Winnipeg Blue Bombers over St. Thomas Aquinas. Hey, it might as well be. It's not like I do any better with actual NFL teams.

You'd think every so often I'd luck to be right, just based on the law of averages. Instead, in 17 years of doing this, only once has my predicted Super Bowl champion gone on to raise the trophy. That was the 49ers of 1994. I think I'm due.

Last year was more representative. I called it Chargers over Saints -- and had a fighting chance, if only New Orleans had had the courtesy to make the playoffs.

This season's forecast:

• AFC East: Patriots 14-2, Dolphins 8-8, Bills 6-10, Jets 5-11. Pats dominate even without cheating, Miamians never felt so ebullient to be mediocre, and Brett Favre wishes he was back in dungarees in Kiln, Miss.

• AFC South: Jaguars 11-5, Colts 10-6, Texans 8-8, Titans 7-9. Power shift in division, although Peyton Manning and Nags hang on for wild-card spot.

• AFC North: Steelers 10-6, Browns 9-7, Bengals 7-9, Ravens 4-12. Big year for Big Ben Roethlisberger, but division story is Browns grabbing last playoff spot.

• AFC West: Chargers 12-4, Broncos 7-9, Raiders 4-12, Chiefs 3-13. LaDainian and the Bolts run away with worst division in football.

• NFC East: Cowboys 12-4, Eagles 11-5, Giants 9-7, Redskins 7-9. 'Boys still reign, but Eagles soar to wild card and champ Giants miss playoffs.

• NFC South: Saints 10-6, Buccaneers 9-7, Panthers 9-7, Falcons 4-12. New Orleans and Drew Brees emerge from tough three-way fight.

• NFC North: Vikings 10-6, Packers 8-8, Bears 6-10, Lions, 5-11. Green Bay proves major disappointment as post-Favre era begins with stumble.

• NFC West: Seahawks 10-6, Cardinals 9-7, 49ers 7-9, Rams 5-11. The story: Arizona wins second wild card on tiebreaker for first playoff spot since '98.

• Super Bowl: (Sorry, Dallas). Cowboys defeat Patriots 27-24 on a last-minute 33-yard interception return touchdown by Zach Thomas, who carries Tom Brady on his back the final 8 yards while screaming, ``Giddy-up!''

Hey, if I'm going to be wrong, might as well at least have a little fun.

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