What South Florida sports fans are talking about:
1.UM in College World Series: Top-ranked Canes opened with Georgia on Saturday night, in search of a fifth national title. Today, those hopes are shining like a diamond -- or more like cubic zirconia.2.Celtics go for NBA title: Boston carries a commanding 3-1 lead into Sunday's game. This can't be good news for L.A.: Vegas is offering identical odds on Lakers rallying to win title and a Jack Nicholson Oscar for The Bucket List.3.Marlins take on Tampa Bay: How about a Marlins-Rays all-Florida World Series? OK, it's still a ridiculous idea. But not quite as ridiculous as it was in February, right?4.Tiger returns in U.S. Open: Tiger Woods is back, but the early leaderboards included guys like Kevin Streelman, Justin Hicks and DJ Trahan. Although, based on gallery reactions, all three were better known by their nickname: ``Who!?''5.Panthers hire new coach: General manager Jacques Martin, fired as coach but charged with hiring his own replacement, chose Peter DeBoer, 40, from Ontario. Things you didn't hear Martin say about the new coach: ``We sure hope he's better than the last guy we had.''-- GREG COTE
It might be the greatest American mystery since Watergate's ''Deep Throat'' in the 1970s.
Who is ``Joe?''
Who is the Marlins fan identified only as that who claims to have caught Ken Griffey Jr.'s milestone 600th home run ball but is being sued by another Marlins fan who claims ''Joe'' swiped it from him? (Hey, look on the bright side. At least it refutes those who suggest the Marlins have no fans.)
''Joe'' supposedly had a decoy ball he used to divert attention as he took off with Junior's prize. Now, the lawyer representing the other claimant said there are indications that a couple of nights later, the same ''Joe'' might have snatched from someone else Dan Uggla's game-winning walk-off grand slam ball.
(This just in. A new examination of the Zapruder film seems to show a grainy likeness of ''Joe'' skulking on the grassy knoll.)
This entire convoluted episode could not be any more ridiculous! (Well, unless it involved Bill Parcells, Jason Taylor, a hearing aid and the cha-cha.)
• The Panthers hired Peter DeBoer as their coach and, on behalf of Your Friend the Media, I would like to personally applaud the choice. Myriad are the possible plays on his surname. If DeBoer's style of play is dull, the Cats will be DeBoring. If they aren't winning, fans will be DeBooing.
• Speculation has the Panthers possibly trading captain Olli Jokinen this week for a first-round draft pick, which they presently do not have. The NHL draft is in five days. Looking forward to the next mock draft from Jacques Kiper Jr.
• The countdown is 11 days until the NBA Draft, and Michael Beasley keeps shrinking. He was 6-10. Then he was 6-7. Now he's riding Silly Filly in the fifth race at Calder.
• Hey, Happy Father's Day to dads everywhere! (Note: The preceding should not be considered to apply to the many athletes currently contesting paternity suits, pending DNA results.)
• The Marlins announced that upcoming performers in their ''Super Saturday'' concert series would include Jerry Rivera, The Bangles, Jaci Velasquez, Olga Tanon and Victor Manuelle, otherwise known, collectively, as People I Would Actively Go Out of My Way to Not Hear.
• In the category of some things being so ridiculous no punch line is required: Las Vegas this coming weekend is hosting the USARPS national championship. That's Rock, Paper, Scissors. Seriously.
• Parcells doesn't want Dolphins kicker Jay Feely to be as outspoken. People in South Florida who give a crap: Jay Feely.
• The Detroit Tigers temporarily demoted struggling former Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis to their low minor-league team in Lakeland. Mighty hard fall for the lefty. D-Train used to be a joyful nickname. Now it's a letter grade.
• Marcus Vick, Michael's kid brother, was arrested for DUI. Mom must be so proud!
• Ari Fleischer is advising Dolphins players on dealing with the media and managing a positive public image. Hmm. Considering Fleischer was press secretary for the George W. Bush White House, should we trust him on the ''managing a positive public image'' part?
• Soccer's European Championship is reaching its quarterfinal round, while the U.S. faces Barbados Sunday in a World Cup qualifying match. Random Evidence has now exceeded its limit for soccer news and will quickly move on.
• Big Brown's shocking last-place finish in the Belmont crushed hopes for horse racing's first Triple Crown since 1978. Suggested new name for the horse: Big Blown.
• Jockey Kent Desormeaux is now 0 for 2 with a Triple Crown on the line, after failing in the Belmont aboard Real Quiet in the '90s. Suggested new nickname for Desormeaux: Where Triple Crowns Go To Die.
• In Detroit they were setting fires and turning over cars. It was mostly Red Wings and Tigers fans, but for different reasons.
• Here's how big Kimbo Slice is getting. I heard his ratty beard now has its own agent.
• University of Oregon wrestlers are suing to prevent the school from dropping the sport to make room for a baseball program. Both of the school's wrestling fans are said to be outraged.
• Serious note. R.I.P. Tim Russert, one of the good ones who worked hard to give journalism back its good name.
• Cuba's top baseball player, Dayan Viciedo, defected to Miami. Or, did that go without saying?
• The Marlins are on pace to hit around 250 home runs. The record is 264 by the '97 Mariners. Hmm -- 264 -- why does that number sound familiar? Is that the Marlins' attendance average?
• Cubs and White Sox are both leading their divisions. Chicago hasn't been this hot since that fire back in 1871.
• A new birth control pill is being marketed under the brand name Yaz. Seriously. Just a wild guess, but I'm betting that somewhere in America, Carl Yastrzemski is not thrilled.
• Women's roller derby is making a comeback, thanks to incessant promos on ESPN, refuting the idea that something has to have been missed as a precursor to it making a comeback.
• Former boxing champ Alexis Arguello is running for mayor of Managua. Which is completely ridiculous and an affront to politics, according to Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• You know how nicknames tend to be shorter versions of one's given name? Any suggestions for Chinese tennis player Li Na?
• Parting thought: A Miami Dolphins charity golf tournament is happening Monday, but Taylor is not expected to play. He heard it was a shotgun start and was worried that meant Parcells might be there with a shotgun.
Catch Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com.
