Saturday's first round of the NFL Draft had jaws dropping all across America and was so thoroughly stunning that disbelieving fans and dumbstruck analysts were scrambling to determine whether modern history -- perhaps never to be repeated -- had been made.
But enough about three white guys going in the first three picks.
• The Dolphins, with tackle Jake Long previously signed as the No. 1 overall choice, began the second round by selecting Clemson defensive end Phillip Merling. I immediately sought a patent on the nickname Merling the Magician.
• There is speculation Merling could be the next Jason Taylor. But before ever agreeing to that, I'd have to see how Merling performs the tango and cha-cha.
• Despite several trades, the first round was fairly uneventful other than when Mel Kiper Jr.'s hair burst into flames on the ESPN set in a spontaneous combustion blamed on high viscosity.
• UM's remarkable streak of first-round picks extended to 14 years in a row when the Giants took safety Kenny Phillips with the round's last pick. Good thing. I was having no luck trying to find a way to blame the end of the streak on Cam Cameron.
• Only one controversy in the first round: Tampa Bay drafted cornerback Aqib Talib despite reports he tested positive for marijuana. Cannot confirm that when introducing him, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell immediately suspended Talib to beat the rush.
• The opening round was the fastest since 1990 thanks to the NFL limiting teams to 10 minutes to make a choice instead of 15. The only complaints heard at the Radio City Music Hall draft site were from Jets fans who complained they had insufficient time to boo each pick.
• The stage filled with U.S. service men and women in an emotional NFL salute to the military between the 19th and 20th picks of the first round. The tribute moved even Jets fans, who briefly decreased their nonstop booing to a murmur.
• Moving on, Pope Benedict XVI celebrated Mass at Yankee Stadium in front of a crowd of 57,000. The crowd cheered loudest when the Pope struck out David Ortiz on a 94-mph fastball.
• The Marlins reportedly are unsure whether they'll do a long-term deal to keep Hanley Ramirez. Ownership evidently recoils at the idea that doing that would actually require spending money!
• UM beats FSU two out of three to affirm its No. 1 ranking in college baseball, then promptly loses to woeful FIU. Ouch. It's like you won the heavyweight title, then got knocked out by walking into a door.
• Still waiting on Pat Riley's decision whether to stay on as Heat coach. (To the tune of the theme from Jeopardy.)
• The Kentucky Derby is in six days. Which means we all start writing and talking and fantasizing about a possible Triple Crown horse even though we all know it will never happen.
• Dallas Maverick Josh Howard admits he smokes marijuana. Imagine that! That an NBA player smokes pot is about as shocking as a sunrise.
• The Cowboys acquired Adam ''Pacman'' Jones from Tennessee, in keeping with Dallas' philosophy that you can never have too many suspended cornerbacks with more career arrests than interceptions.
• ESPN The Magazine's annual ranking of the 122 teams in the Big Four pro sports, based on fan satisfaction, ranks the Heat 87th, Panthers 98th, Marlins 99th and Dolphins 108th. Yeah. Like we needed a magazine to tell us we're dissatisfied?
• The Boston Marathon women's winner was (seriously) a person named Dire Tune. Not faring so well: Her brother, Funeral Dirge.
• Danica Patrick won a race. No, seriously!
• Former President George H.W. Bush caught and released a 135-pound tarpon off Islamorada last weekend. The tarpon will appear on Oprah on Monday to promote a new book about the experience.
• The McDonald's All-American High School Basketball Games are at UM this week. Cannot confirm Frank Haith has been inquiring if under any circumstances kidnapping is considered legal.
• The Stanford International Pro-Am at Turnberry Isle betrayed the LPGA's desperation to attract attention. C'mon, women! Is your tour really in such dire straits that you need James Caan on the course yukking it up answering 30-year-old Godfather references?
• Car was going fast so I can't be sure. But I think I just saw a bumper sticker that read, ``Honk If You've Impeded the Olympic Torch.''
• The men's golf team from Miami's Johnson & Wales Culinary Institute won the NAIA regional title with six closing-round birdies and a fabulous soufflé.
• Quick political note. Barack Obama has garnered the endorsement of rock star Bruce Springsteen. Not to be outcome, Hilary Clinton won the backing of the NAAP, the National Association for the Advancement of Pantsuits.
• White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen angered many Puerto Ricans by saying revered Roberto Clemente is only that island's third best ballplayer all-time, after Pudge Rodriguez and Roberto Alomar. In an unrelated story, Guillen was ranked No. 1 all-time among Venezuelan managers who should shut up.
• Arizona Cardinals QB Matt Leinart is in trouble with his coach over a photo of him in a hot tub with five women. Geez, are we outraged that easily? Wasn't Joe Namath pulling the same stuff 40 years ago and becoming a folk hero for it?
• Some say the bloom is off the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Mostly downtrodden New Yorkers.
• Free agent Barry Bonds remains unsigned and seemingly unwanted. Baseball experts cannot figure out why there would be no interest in a surly 43-year-old clubhouse cancer facing possible jail time.
• ESPN analyst Bobby Knight suggests the NCAA men's basketball tournament expand from 65 to 128 teams. What, like we needed one more reason to hate Bobby Knight? I say they go the other way. Restrict the tournament to only teams with no tattooed players, and have a three-team round robin.
• Champion Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard, who has posed in Playboy, said the way to make competitive swimming more popular is to make it more ''risqué.'' OK. Two words: Swimsuits optional.
• New rule in baseball: First- and third-base coaches now must wear protective headgear on the field. What that means is, in addition to seeming not to do much, they now look nerdy doing it.
• The Chinese government is accusing the Dalai Lama of trying to sabotage the Olympics, in keeping with the ruling Communist Party regularly blaming Tibet's exiled spiritual leader for almost everything. China began to lose me when it accused the Dalai Lama of injecting Roger Clemens with steroids.
• Parting thought: Ever watched Jeremy Hermida try to play right field for the Marlins? It's like watching a blind man try to catch a butterfly.
Catch Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com.
